Page 46 of Princess Bride Swap

He realized then his mistake—because the mistakes were always his. He was the one who would save everyone. From the moment he could remember, he’d known he was the payment of a debt. So all missteps were his. All messes his to clean up.

And he was failing. Over and over again.

He had assumed his mother would realize over time Beau was the perfect wife for him.

He should have made it more clear. So this fight was his fault. And he had to fix it. First, by showing his mother how ridiculous she was being. “Would you have me divorce her?” he asked blandly.

“Of course not. What a scandal! Theoppositeof the stability youassuredme you could handle.”

Lyon studied her then. Had he assured his mother of that? He couldn’t remember anything but his grandmother and motherinsistingthat he handle it. Capable or not. It had always been up tohim.

Now she was claiming he’d...taken that on himself?

“Then what would you have me do? What is it you think you are accomplishing with this attack on her? She is the princess. She is my wife. A wife you encouraged me to have. I cannot divorce her. So why areyouadding to this scene?”

The outrage was written all over his mother’s face, but it soon morphed into a sharp look that, again, reminded him of his grandmother. He braced himself for the attack, the takedown.

Because it always came after that look. From either woman.

“Perhaps this could be handled if you didn’t have such a soft spot for her,” Mother said in a viciously quiet voice. “Youwill make a mistake.”

Yes, of course.Him.

He loosened his tie, that familiar choking feeling that was getting a little too common again. It seemed every day, no matter how careful he was, no matter all the precautions he took, those old anxious habits were creeping back in.

“You mustn’t,” his mother whispered at him. She leaned close, even though they were alone in this room with the door closed. She put her hand over his that was loosening his tie. “Have you been taking your medication?” She tried to tighten his tie for him, but he stepped back.

“Yes, Mother.” A careful secret, of course, but the anxiety medication was the only way he’d gotten through his teenage years. Things had eased in his early twenties. After his grandmother’s death...

Had he really never put it together before? He wanted to laugh. He’d told himself grief had eased the anxiety. One feeling taking over the other, but in retrospect that was ridiculous.

His anxiety had eased because one of the sources of it had been gone.

He shook his head. That was a terrible thought. A terrible way to feel about the woman who’d given him so much. Besides, this was all...the past. He needed to deal with the present. The parliamentary dinner was tomorrow, and everyone needed to be in accord. Everyone needed to be ready so they could continue to prove they were a strong, stable unit.

“What is it that bothers you about her?” Lyon asked. “Her as a person, or the soft spot you claim I have for her?”

“Claim? I haveeyes. You are my son. Iknowyou. The point of a wife was a partnership. An arrangement. Not...love.”

Yes, that was true. That had been the point. And he’d never questioned it. Until something that felt far too close tolovehad taken hold. And he was afraid of soft spots, of desire, of losing his focus.

Of love.

Because he had been made to be afraid of all these things. But he also knew, that for all the ways he didn’t remember his father, his mother had never once talked about him like a...pawn. He had not been an arrangement.

“You loved my father.”

Mother blinked up at him, then turned away. “We must deal with the problem at hand. Not ancient history.”

“Mother. You loved him.”

As if sensing he wouldn’t give up the topic, she sighed. “Yes.” She turned away, refusing to look him in the eye. “What does that have to do with anything? I was not in charge, and never would be.”

“Why would it be so terrible for me to love Beaugonia? Simply because I’m in charge?”

She turned back to face him, and he saw all the ways she looked like her own mother. The dark eyes, the way her mouth nearly disappeared when she was angry. “You are the ruler. You must love your country above all else. How else will you rise above the legacy the men in this family leave?”

Years ago, when he’d been quite young, he’d had the nerve to ask his grandmother why that responsibility had to fall tohim. Why he was the only one.

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