Page 34 of Forbidden Impulses

After doctoring the burn, I carefully clean up the glass shards, sorting them and putting them in the bins so they can go back into the furnace for recycling. I do a quick check that everything is where it needs to be before turning off the lights and heading out.

I can't concentrate on what I need to until I deal with a few things. The first of those things being my best friend. Hopefully, she stillismy best friend.

The air outside is cold against my hot skin and I take a deep calming breath before heading for my room and digging out my phone.

Suzie answers the phone within two rings.

"Annie! What the fuck. Are you okay?" Her frantic words bring a reluctant smile to my face.

"Hi Suze," I respond, and pull the phone away from my ear in anticipation of what's going to happen next. My friend doesn't disappoint.

"Hi, Suze! Hi! Suze!" She screams into the phone before going off on a very colorful rant that has quite a few creative curse words, then finally calms down enough to say, "We haven't heard from you in weeks. For all we knew, you were dead. If Monte hadn't gotten a PI to check on you, we'd probably have started calling the morgues and hospitals!"

My heart stops when she mentions the PI. Surely they weren't trying to track me down?

"When they figured out where you were, and made me swear to leave you alone, I nearly fucking killed them myself," she rambles, carrying on to tell me how she'd fought with them over their decision to leave me alone once they found out I was fine. But all the time she's rambling on, I stand there, surprised that my heart hasn't fallen from my chest and shattered on the floor in front of me in the same way the vase earlier had.

They know where I am. Have for a while. And didn't come for me.

They know. And they’rechoosingto leave me here alone.

And like Suzie said in her text, she told them to. She told them she’s okay with us being together.

Which tells me only one thing. None of it was real. They couldn't have cared for me in the same way I do for them.

And it's about time I grow up and do what has to be done.

Starting with another hard call after I get off the one that just shattered my heart into a million pieces.

"Suze?" I call out, interrupting her continuing rant. "It's good you didn't come. It's about time I learn how to look after myself. This is good for me. But I wanted to reach out and see if we could still be friends."

"Don't be an idiot, Annie. Of course we're friends. You'd have to do some pretty fucked-up things to get rid of me."

We both laugh at that before Suzie starts up again. "You're sure you don't want to come home?"

"I'm not sure of anything, honey. But I should at least try this. I have a decent job and the makings of a freshstart." It's hard to keep my voice light and not give away the hurt I'm feeling down to my bones.

Then she sighs and I know I've won. At least this battle.

"Fine. But no more disappearing on me, okay? Text me. I need proof-of-life updates or I'm coming back up there."

We say goodbye and I lie back on my bed, collecting my courage for the next call.

I had a few other missed calls on my phone when I turned it on. Ones I’ve continued to ignore as time moves on but if I'm going to be serious about moving forward, I need to deal with my past. All of it.

I scroll through my contacts and get to D.

Pushing the call button is way harder than I'd like to admit, but not throwing the phone after I do is even harder.

After a few rings, he picks up.

"Annabelle," he says in greeting and the deep timbre of his voice draws tears from me. I'd promised to never give this man again any more of my tears, dammit. "I'm glad you called."

I bite my lip, trying to figure out what to say or if I'm just going to cut the call and block his number.

"Annie, darling, are you there?"

"Yes, Dad," I respond before letting out the breath I'd been holding. "You've been trying to get hold of me?"

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