Not that I truly wanted to confess early, because I wanted to hold on to these moments before they were gone. I wanted to know more about her, too, but every time I asked a question, I worried I should know the answer.
What a fucking mess.
I’d blame my brother, yet I was the one here, and more than that, there was nowhere else I’d rather be.
I repeat, what a fucking mess.
Hazel eyes appeared as Gwen dipped her chin. “But in all seriousness, I do appreciate that you care so much about my allergy. Less appreciative of the deathtraps, but I guess no one’s perfect.”
She was. At this point, I’d almostliketo see a flaw—one besides trusting me. The lump of guilt in my gut turned to solid rock, but since it’d only make her sad if I went back to the sulky dude I’d been all morning, I shoved it away. I reached past her, retrieved a pair of hot pink sunglasses, and gently slipped them on her nose. “Try these. They’ll match your toenail polish.”
As far as I was concerned, they were the ones. Gwen studied her reflection, then spun on her heel and planted her lips on mine. I wrapped my hands around her hips and pulled her closer, adding a gentle bite to her full bottom lip, and then soothing the spot with a swipe of my tongue.
This was the real reason I was going to keep up the ruse, asshole move or not. Since she’d repeatedly remarked about how things were so different these past few days, I reasoned that she felt the same pull I did and used that to justify kissing her. Touching her. Wanting to take her to somewhere we could be alone and I could follow through on my promise to make her remember every single minute.
Apparently, I was a better at arguing my own case than I thought.
SIXTEEN
Road trips are always a bit of a gamble. For one, there’s a lot out of your control, from the traffic to if there will be construction or obnoxious drivers. It’s also a lot of time to spend confined in a small space with someone.
So far, this road trip was so different, so much more fun, and so… a word I couldn’t quite find. Not frustration and not exactly intrigue, but a mix of two. Was that a thing?
Actually, it was, because I was experiencing it. Regardless, I was happy that I’d taken a risk on asking Evan to come along, even if I’d nearly rescinded the invitation—making this trip alone would’ve sucked. Not only would it have been quieter, with less laughter and eye-candy to enjoy, but I would’ve been obsessing about seeing my friends and the awkwardness that’d be present at the wedding tomorrow. Somehow, this was the first time I’d really even thought about the wedding during our drive, and even then, the sense of dread was a mere blip in the background.
I shifted in my seat. My legs had locked up in the past few minutes, and I couldn’t quite find a comfortable position anymore.
Evan glanced at me.
“Don’t mind me. I’m just having trouble getting comfy. I can only imagine how you feel. You know my offer to drive stands, right?”
“I’m fine, I promise. Here. Stretch your legs this way.” He motioned to the area below the steering wheel.
I took the hoodie I’d hijacked from him, wadded it into a ball, and placed it over the armrest on the door. Then I shifted so my back was against it and stretched my legs out, over the console so that my feet settled in his lap.Ahh. Much better.
The pads of his slightly callused fingertips dragged across the sensitive skin on the top of my foot and my pulse skittered out of control. He traced up my shin and a zip of electricity shot up my core.
He seemed perfectly casual while I was over here practically panting, my nipples standing at attention, and not from the air conditioning this time.
His fingers skimmed back down, and as he fingered the charm on my anklet, I had the stray thought about wishing he’d finger something else.
Whoa.Not that sex hadn’t been a big part of my life for a while, back when I had a boyfriend, but usually my thoughts weren’t so fixated on it. I didn’t know whether that meant something was wrong with me or if something was finally right.
“A squirrel?” he asked as he glanced at the charm. “That’s… unexpected. I figured it’d be a unicorn.”
My smile stretched across my face, and my cheeks were seriously sore from how much I’d grinned and laughed today. “While I love unicorns, I’m more of a squirrel. Erratic. Chatters a lot. Easily distracted. Yet I’m also a planner, and squirrels are always saving nuts for winter, so apparently that also fit.”
“Apparently?”
“It was this thing between my friends. Madison, the one who’s wedding we’re going to, gave it to me. I was the squirrel,she was the fox, and…” There it was. The hurt that rose up whenever I thought about Paige. So I wouldn’t dwell on that, I focused on Madison. The reason I was making this drive. “She was the sly one who always got us into trouble. You know those charismatic, talk-you-into-anything kind of people?”
“You have no idea,” Evan said.
“We got into trouble together a lot—she’d get these crazy ideas and I’d find myself going along, even as my common sense told me how bad an idea it was. We’ve been friends since grade school, and so many of my memories involve adventures with Madison. And while she got me into plenty of trouble, she was also the first one there when I needed anything. She always had my back. One day we were at the mall and we saw these charm bracelets, and we each got the animal who represented us. Like I said, she got the fox, I got the squirrel, and then Paige, the friend who… you know. Before that mess, we were this threesome who did everything together…”
My heart squeezed into a painful knot as I thought about how it’d never be that way again. Sure, graduating and moving away had changed the dynamic some, and while I was working on forgiveness, forgetting was a whole other thing, one I’d never be able to do.
Then I noticed the silence and worried I’d finally bored Evan, and I’d rather charge on with something else than go back to feeling like he was only half-listening to the important stuff. “Don’t worry, I’m going to change the subject to something cheerier now.”