Page 41 of Halftime

Penny’s hand was stroking mine, like I was a cat she was calming. “Well, maybe you could do friends with benefits with him? If you don’t want to date, maybe it’s a way to get the best of both worlds.

Could I?

Maybe I could have done that with some guys. But I had real doubts that I could be friends the way we used to and sleep with him like we used to do without running into feelings like we used to have. I didn’t think I was up to that. I was still torn between Seb, the guy I’d loved, and the cheater I’d hated, because they’d been tangled together for so long. Now I was mixing in Seb, my current friend, and I had to sift through the real parts of my memories and the mistaken parts.

“I don’t know.”

“And what about him?”

What did Seb want? He’d never made a move, never indicated he wanted more than friendship. And I’d seen his exes. Penny’s talk about IG had led me to search through Seb’s and the men’s hockey team’s accounts. I’d seen photos of him with three different girls, all at different times. Three petite, brunette, thin, and pretty girls. Penny was closer to Seb’s type than I was.

It hit me then. I’d started things last night. Not Seb. I’d gone to kiss his cheek. I’m the one who’d dug up the condoms. Not Seb. I had instigated everything. It had been a pity fuck. Seb wasn’t looking to start things up again. We were friends, and he’d felt bad for me. Just like he’d felt bad for me when he’d helped with Coach and with my psych class.

“No, Penny, he doesn’t want anything like that. It was just one of those things, you know? Thanks for helping me work this out.”

And now that I had worked it out, I should answer Seb’s text. I should send something likeSure, I’m fine, orI’ll get through it, or something. We were— We’d been friends. It was weird that I was making it weird by not responding. But I didn’t want him to explain to me that sleeping together hadn’t meant anything. I was fragile, and that wasn’t something I felt like I could cope with right now. Not responding was my way to let him know I got it.

When a couple of days went by, and he didn’t call or text, I knew we understood each other.

12

Sebastien

I didn’t have good practices that week. It wasn’t hard to figure out why.

I understood Faith didn’t want us to start up again, but I was twisted up inside that she’d ghosted meagain. She didn’t respond to my text, didn’t reach out, and I hadn’t seen her at all.

It didn’t matter what I wanted when she didn’t want anything. But it would have been nice to talk like adults. I’d made sure all along the way that night that she was with me. She’d agreed. She’d fucking consented. She could at least answer my text. It made me angry, and that was good. Because otherwise, I might have been upset. I might have been hurt. And I wasn’t doing that again. I was tired and distracted, and I could tell Coach noticed, but he didn’t say anything.

Instead, Cooper barged into my room. “Get any bad news from your family?”

I looked up from the textbook I’d been staring at but not actually reading. I frowned at him. “No, not that I know of.”

“Classes going okay?”

If I could stop my mind from spinning on a hamster wheel over Faith, classes would be fine. “Yes.”

“So it’s Faith.” He frowned at me.

“What’s Faith?” I knew what he meant, but I was going to make him say it. It was petty, and I didn’t care.

He sighed, like I was a three-year-old giving him a hard time. Perhaps that wasn’t a bad comparison, because I’d enjoy a temper tantrum right now. Screaming and throwing things.

“That’s why you’re moping. Did she tell you no more hooking up? Only friends?”

Cooper was almost more invested in this non-relationship than I was. But it was my life, not his. “No.” I hoped he’d leave if I didn’t start talking.

“She doesn’t even want to be friends anymore? That’s harsh. Or you really need some coaching on pleasing your partners, Hunts.”

I felt my fists clenching. I looked up at my ceiling. It wasn’t much to look at. “I know how to please my partner, asshole. That wasn’t the problem.” I knew Faith had come and come hard. I knew her body and how it responded as well as I knew my own. She could complain about a lot of things, but not that she hadn’t enjoyed the sex that night. We both had.

Cooper rested his hands on his hips. “You mean, she wanted to be with you again andyousaid no?”

That wasn’t a possibility, because it would involve Faith actually talking to me. “No, Cooper, she didn’t say that, either. She didn’t say anything.”

He cocked his head. I could see him out of the corner of my eye.

“Did you reach out to her?”

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