Page 61 of A Christmas For Holly

What if he changes his mind about me once I’m gone? What if this was nothing but a way to fill the time?I studied him for a long moment, searching for something in his expression that would tell me he wasn’t just brushing me off. But all I saw was sincerity mixed with exhaustion. I nodded slowly. “Yeah. A couple of days.”

His shoulders eased, and he gave me a small, grateful smile. It didn’t wholly chase away the knot in my stomach, but for now, it was enough.

“What happens in the cabin stays in the cabin, yeah?” Holly said with a laugh, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He tried to make it sound like a joke, like what we had here wasn’t anything serious.

“Is that what you want?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest, feeling my heartbeat quicken with nerves.

His half-smile faltered, dropping as his gaze shifted. “What doyouwant?” he countered, his voice quieter now, almost unsure.

“I asked first,” I shot back, trying to keep it light, but my voice had an edge.What am I? Six?

He blinked, looking at me as if trying to figure out what to say. “I’m in Wishing Tree for a reason. To see Kai and Bailey and apologize for being an ass at their wedding, thank them for nevergiving up on me. Then see you to apologize and hope you forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” I defended, then rolled my eyes when he frowned. “Of course, I forgive you.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a breath, and when he opened them, they were bright with something—emotion, regret, I didn’t know. “I loved being trapped here with you,” he admitted.

My chest tightened at the vulnerability in his voice. “But?” I prompted, knowing there was more.

“But nothing.” He shook his head, tapping his temple. “I need to settle what’s up here before I can think about us.”

This wasn’t something I would even begin to argue about—his mental health was far too important to me—but it didn’t stop the ache that came with it. I wanted to tell him he didn’t have to be perfect, that I wasn’t expecting some grand resolution to whatever he thought he needed to fix. But I couldn’t force him to leave, not when he still had so much he needed to figure out.

Duncan drew the short straw to come to rescue me. Holly and I finished the last bit of shoveling, connecting the path to the road, but there was no repeat of the snowball fight, and I recalled we never did make snowmen. My back was aching, but I barely noticed. All I could think about was leaving Holly up here. It felt wrong.

When Duncan hugged me, I could feel the weight of his concern before he spoke.

“Hey, little brother,” he said, stepping back to look me over. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” I lied, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes. Holly wasn’t coming with me, and it gnawed at me, although I understood.

Duncan glanced behind me, where Holly stood near the cabin door. “Is he okay?”

“Holly? Yeah, he’s good.” I tried to sound convincing, but I knew Duncan could read me like a book. I shifted uncomfortably, trying to steer the conversation away from Holly. “How’s Bailey doing, anyway? And Kai?”

Duncan took the bait and shrugged. “They’re getting better. Bailey’s still got that cough, but they’re on the mend.”

I nodded, but my mind was elsewhere. Over Duncan’s shoulder, I saw Holly step out of the front door, leaning against the frame. He waved at Duncan, and my heart clenched. Should wereallybe leaving him here?

No! My mind screamed, but then I remembered the panic attacks, the way he’d talked about needing to work through what was in his head. It would be wrong to force him down into town, to pressure him before he was ready.

Waiting a few days was a small price for the chance of forever.

“Hang on.” Before Duncan could ask why, I hurried back to Holly.

Without thinking, I grabbed him by the jacket, pulled him close, and kissed him hard. It wasn’t planned, but I couldn’t stop myself. “Come down into town with me,” I pleaded, resting my forehead against his. “I don’t want to leave you, not with all these feelings inside that I can’t?—”

“Stop,” Holly cut me off, his hands framing my face. His eyes were steady, filled with determination that felt unshakable. “Give me just a few more days to work through all of this,” he asked, his voice softening, but the resolve was still evident.

We kissed again, slower this time, as though we were trying to hold onto something fragile, something we both knew could break if we weren’t careful. I wanted to tell him I’d wait as long as it took, but deep down, I selfishly wanted to give him forty-eight hours before I dragged him out.

“Thanksgiving,” I exclaimed, desperate to hold onto something, some future together.

He stiffened. “No.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“I’m not ready for a big Haynes family event,” he said, shaking his head.

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