Page 63 of Friend Zone to End Zone

Though really, she hadn’t been much better off with the damage the drugs and alcohol had already done.

“I still wasn’t on talking terms with my mom and dad, so I was kind of alone in the whole thing. But as soon as I realized I was pregnant, I started going to appointments and stopped drinking and getting high. But…” I pressed my lips together because I really didn’t like this next part. This was the part that still gave me nightmares.

Cole frowned, as if realizing that this story didn’t have a happy ending for the baby—that she hadn’t been adopted and wasn’t living a happy, carefree life with adoptive parents who loved and doted on her.

“I went into labor when I was seven months along. Normally, that wouldn’t be super bad since babies are able to survive premature births a lot better these days. But she was really small, and because of the alcohol and drugs I’d taken before I knew I was pregnant—and just a lot of other bad luck—she was born with multiple birth defects. She was in NICU for a few weeks, and for a little while it seemed like she might actually come through and I’d be able to take her home. But then things took a turn for the worst when she was a month old and she ended up passing away in my arms one night. I left the hospital with my arms empty.”

“Arianna…” Cole’s voice was scratchy when he spoke my name. “I had no—“ He shook his head, and in the next moment there were tears in his eyes. He stood and scooted his chair closer so he was sitting next to me. “Did you have to go through this all by yourself?”

I nodded, and even though I’d managed to hold myself together through our conversation thus far, when he put his arms around me and pulled me closer, everything just came flooding out of me as I remembered how hopeless and empty I’d felt during that time.

I picked up my napkin to dab at my eyes. Then I remembered that my favorite singer was across the room and watching me fall apart in the middle of the most amazing date ever.

How horrifying this was.

I glanced at the band and through my tears I could see uncomfortable expressions on the band members’ faces. Since Incognito wore a mask, I couldn’t see anything in his expression to tell me whether he felt completely awkward singing one of his love ballads to a girl crying into the shoulder of her best friend, but I could definitely imagine what might be going through his mind right now.

I really should have waited to tell Cole about Harper.

I mean, I’d already waited three years, why couldn’t I have waited an hour more when we were back in the privacy of Cole’s Maserati?

At least the restaurant wasn’t full of people. Because I would have definitely made for interesting dinner entertainment.

Seeming to notice my discomfort, Cole stood and shut the doors to the alcove to give us a bit more privacy.

“Thanks.” I sniffled when he returned to his seat beside me. “I have great timing, don’t I?”

“You’re fine.” Cole rubbed his hand up and down my arm, and I tried to pull myself together because I didn’t want to ruin the night after all the amazing things he’d done for me. “The band is far enough away that they probably just thought the lyrics were making you emotional.”

I shook my head and laughed despite myself. “Probably not, but I’ll pretend like Incognito just thinks you shut the door because his music suddenly brought on a frenzy of passion and we’re making out right now.”

His hand stopped rubbing my arm and when I checked his expression, he had a look of shock on his face.

And when he gulped I said, “I can clear things up with Incognito after this if you don’t want him thinking that.”

But Cole shook his head and said, “No.” He pressed his lips together. “I, um, that’s fine.”

“Okay.”

I took another sip of my wine. I had learned to be a lot more careful with my drinking after everything that happened with Harper, but I was parched after talking so much and the wine was so good that I decided to just let myself indulge this one night.

After I finished my second glass of wine, Cole asked, “Did you go home to your parents after everything in the hospital?”

I nodded. “One of the nurses had gone to school with Vincent, and without telling him exactly what had happened since she couldn’t breach the hospital’s confidentiality rules, she told him he needed to check in with me.” I dabbed at my eyes, holding back another wave of emotion as I remembered seeing my big brother walk into the hospital as I held my dead baby in my arms.

“Thank goodness for that nurse,” Cole whispered before kissing my brow.

I nodded, and I really didn’t want to tell Cole just how depressed I’d been. But if Vincent hadn’t shown up when he had and taken me back to my parents, I really might not have survived. I’d already started considering ways to just end all the pain that night.

I swallowed, pushing away the darkest of my memories. “Things were rough for a while after that, but my parents helped me take things one day and one moment at a time. Vincent made all the arrangements to bury Harper. And when my parents got the huge hospital bill, he helped pay for the medical expenses that their insurance didn’t cover, since they didn’t have the kind of money to pay for a month in the NICU.”

I’d been so resentful of my brother before. Jealous of all the success and attention he was getting—feeling that he was taking the spotlight away from me. But when it came down to things, his hard work and contract with the NFL were exactly what had saved my family from financial ruin.

It was something I would never be able to pay him back for even if he did let me try.

Cole and I sat quietly for a few minutes, just listening to the acoustic version of Incognito’s hit song, “The Way We’re Meant to Be” drifting through the crack in the doors.

And even though it had been hard, and I’d blubbered my way through my story, it felt like for the first time since we’d met, I had a huge weight off my chest.

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