Page 84 of The Charade

I glanced sideways to peek at him. When our gazes locked, his sad eyes told me he felt as hopeless as I did.

I drew in a long, shaky breath and released it slowly through pursed lips before I said, "Yeah. Interesting day."

What else was there to say?

Nothing.

I had nothing to say because talking about tonight would just make it all the more real.

And I didn't want any of it to be real.

We sat there for another minute, and I just watched the windshield wipers wipe the rain away in a rhythmic motion. But since it was getting late and I knew we both had classes early in the morning, I finally moved to unbuckle my seatbelt. "I guess I better get inside."

Carter nodded, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. "I-I'll walk you to the door."

I knew I should just walk up the steps by myself and get used to the reality where Carter didn't do gentlemanly things for me like opening doors for me and walking me to the school to make sure I got there safely, but I found myself saying, "Thank you."

He grabbed his umbrella from where he'd stored it between his seat and the driver’s side door. Then he stepped out and walked around the truck to let me out, holding the umbrella up and over my head.

For a moment, he looked like he wanted to offer me his arm but seemed to reconsider a split second later. So we ended up walking side by side with zero contact between our bodies.

"Thanks for walking me to the door," I said to Carter once we were at the top step.

"Of course." He nodded, half of his face lit from the overhead light, the other shadowed in the dark night.

I knew I should go inside and head upstairs—it was getting late and I was exhausted from the emotional evening—but I didn't want to say goodbye yet. I was planning to call my mom when I got inside and ask her to finally give me the answers I deserved to have for the past seventeen years. But I knew that once she confirmed everything we'd discovered, it would just make this nightmare more real.

And I didn't want it to be totally real just quite yet.

Carter didn't seem to be in a hurry to leave, either, because he just stood there, watching me, studying my face like he was committing this last night together to his memory.

"I hate this," I finally said, after we'd just stared at each other for a minute.

"Me too."

He closed his umbrella and set it against the stone wall, and then took my hands to pull me into the little alcove that was protected from the rain.

He sighed, still holding my hands, rubbing his thumbs across my knuckles. "I wish we could go back to a couple of hours ago."

I bit my lip and nodded, a sudden surge of emotion taking over me. I wiped at my eyes and pushed out a low breath, hoping to keep the tears at bay. "I should be happy. I know I should be happy that I may finally have the answers I've always wanted."

"But you're not," Carter finished for me, understanding exactly how I felt without me needing to say the words.

I cast my gaze down at his shoes because looking at his face was hard right now. "I don't want to be your sister." My voice broke. "I don't want any of this."

He sighed and pulled me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me and smoothing his hands up and down my back in a comforting gesture. "I don't want you to be my sister, either," he mumbled into my hair, his hot breath sending chills racing across my shoulders.

We just held each other for a long moment, breathing deeply. I pressed my ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat that had become a comfort to me over the past few weeks. It was still as steady and as strong as it had been the first time I'd listened to it, but now, instead of making me feel excited, it just made me sad. Because this was probably the last time I'd ever have an excuse to listen to it. Brothers and sisters didn't hug each other like this.

But Carter felt so good. He was just the right height for me to tuck myself under his chin. His narrow waist the perfect size for me to wrap my arms around. His signature cologne just the right combination of clean and woodsy with a subtle citrus overtone.

He smelled like happiness, and maybe a little like love, too.

My heart squeezed with that thought.

Getting over Carter was going to be so hard.

I rubbed my face into his chest, wishing that it would help me wipe away reality.

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