Page 86 of The Damaged Hearts Bargain

“Alright, where do I start?” Cal took her hand. “I screwed up. I’m an idiot and I let my own insecurities get in the way of something that I think frightened me a bit.”

“I frighten you?”

“Immeasurably,” Cal smiled. “See, I go through life thinking that I’m on my own, thinking that I’m the only person that I can count on. And it’s… fine. Then I meet someone like you and realize that there are people I can count on and then it gets scary. Scary because I’ve been let down before and because that hurts.”

“It does,” Lucy agreed. “So what changed?”

“Me,” Cal said as the train pulled away from the station. “I changed. I saw what you did. I saw that you were there for me even when I wasn’t there for you. I was so afraid that all you were looking for was a wife. But in the end, you just went on supporting me and believing me even when I wasn’t yours to support or believe in.”

“You’re not wrong,” Lucy said with a sigh. “I was looking for a relationship. At the beginning I just didn’t want to be alone. You showed up at the right time and I sort of… set my sights on you, I suppose. But it wasn’t just because you were there. I truly felt, I trulyfeela connection to you.”

The train started to speed up.

“We haven’t known each other for long. And maybe you’re right, maybe I’m broken,” Lucy continued. “Maybe I don’t have a good template for what a relationship is supposed to look like and I’m just fumbling around in the dark.”

“Or maybe not,” Cal said. “Because I’ve been thinking about this and it works both ways, doesn’t it?”

“What does?” Lucy asked, confused but still happy because Cal’s hand was still in hers.

“Well, if you grow up with shitty parents or bad relationship role models or whatever you might turn out to be terrible at relationships yourself because you’ve never been shown how they work properly. But on the other hand, maybe you’ll be amazing at them because you’ve been shown what terrible relationships look like and you know what to avoid.”

Lucy laughed. “That’s one way of looking at it.”

“And I sort of figure that there’s really only one way of finding out,” Cal said. She squeezed Lucy’s hand. “Give it a try and seehow things go.”

Lucy nodded. “Seems like the best way to me.”

Cal shuffled in closer until their shoulders were touching. “Lucy Evans, you are something amazing. You’re funny and smart and oh, so pretty. But you’re kind and protective and generous as well. You make me feel… safe. That’s the only word for it. Like I can do anything just because you’re there with me. But for the life of me, I don’t think I’ll ever understand what you see in me.”

They were quiet for a long few seconds. Then Lucy blinked back her tears and took a breath. “You give me hope,” she said quite simply. “Hope that I’m not lost, that I’m not broken, hope that no matter where or what I come from that I can end up in a good place with good people.”

“Oh, Lucy.”

Lucy felt Cal’s hand slide under her chin and turned her head and then Cal’s deep blue eyes were looking into hers, Cal’s lips were coming closer, Cal’s breath was warm on her cheeks.

“Tickets, please,” the conductor said.

“THIS IS, VERY distinctly, your fault,” Lucy pointed out as they sat on the bench outside the station in the hot sun.

“I swear to you, Syd told me that I could buy a ticket on the train,” Cal said.

“Yeah, well, that conductor didn’t seem amenable.”

“At least we avoided the hundred pound fine,” pointed out Cal.

“At least Billy’s finished work and can come and pick us up,” pointed out Lucy.

Cal threaded her fingers through Lucy’s. “This isn’t really the romantic moment that I imagined.”

“You thought a train would be more romantic?”

“It worked in old films, didn’t it? What was that one on a train?”

“Strangers on a Train? That’s the one where they kill people,” Lucy said.

“No, not that one. Never mind. Just… it’s not quite what I imagined.”

“That’s true. You haven’t even kissed me yet,” said Lucy.

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