Page 34 of All at Once

“I would use the termswatchandsurfmildly,” he deadpans. “But yeah, you were doing a lot better than before.”

So he noticed me.I can’t lie that my heart flutters at this simple revelation.

I confess, “I think I got overconfident in my abilities a little too quickly for my own good.”

“You’ll get better at it,” he offers reassuringly.

I start tying back the top straps of my bikini when Luca and my eyes accidentally meet. A wave of heat beams through my hips at the softest movement of his lips. Not quite parted, but enough to make me want to swallow the saltiness lingering in my mouth. But my heart jumps against my chest when he quickly looks away. Even though there was nothing for him to see, it feltwaymore intimate than it should have.

It’s then when the rest of the guys are paddling back as we follow them out of the ocean.

The water’s buoyancy must have kept me from noticing how wobbly my legs are feeling, given how they’ve never trembled like this. It looks as though I’m trying to dance while I walk. So much for my plan for making a good impression.

“What the hell is this?” I ask Luca.

“It’s just from balancing on the board,” he explains, while trying to hold in his laughter. “You probably stayed too long in one position.”

My eyes grow wide. “You couldn’t have warned me about that before?”

“How was I supposed to know what your body is used to or not?”

Now I’m distracted by how he brings up the words “body” and “used to” in the same sentence. Before I have the chance tofall down that separate rabbit hole, I hear their friends giggle something to Enrique in Spanish.

“What did they say?” I ask.

“They said that—”

Enrique interjects, “Luca.”

Luca stops himself, and Enrique clarifies, “Nothing important. Don’t worry about it.”

Now Ihaveto know. “What? No. Tell me.”

Enrique sighs, before explaining, “They asked me what we did last night. It’s dumb. They always tease me.”

Always?Does that mean Enrique brings people here pretty often?

Enrique’s voice interrupts my inner dialogue. “Why didn’t you join us?”

I want to ask back:Why didn’t you come to me?Shockingly, I don’t express what I’m thinking. Again.

Instead, I reply, “I was practicing my surfing and asking a few questions to Luca about it. I had a lot of fun though.” That’s excluding the two times I plummeted into the water and walked out of the ocean with moves that resembled how I felt I looked like at the club.

“I thought you said you’ve surfed before?” Enrique’s brows furrow.

“Yeah, but not much. Just wanted to refresh my memory,” I try my best to sound convincing.

“I’m glad you had fun though.” His dimples appear. “Hopefully we can do it together next.”

See this confuses me. He could’ve made an effort for us to do it togetherthis time.

Wanting to stay hopeful though, I say, “I’d like that.”

But then I’m even more confused when we sit down on our beach towels, and Enrique goes to sit closer to one of his other friends rather than near me. He immediately engages in conversation with them so exuberantly as if I’m not even here.

Maybe I’m reading into things way more than I should. I would just assume that you’dwantto sit next to the person you’re trying to get close to. Or I don’t know?Tryto include them in a conversation with your friends.

On the one hand, I don’t have the experience, so maybe all of thisisnormal. On the other hand, I remember the advice I got over the years telling me I’d be better off lowering my expectations, not so much to accept less than, more so to realize an idea you have of love doesn’t always translate the same wayduringthe fact. Nonetheless, what I’m learning is that you almost lose sight of what your expectations looked like when you’re in the middle of experiencing something. Even more when you’ve been so enthralled with theideaof said thing.

---