Page 73 of All at Once

Yet the way he looked into my eyes a second ago suddenly catches me off guard, as if the answer is almostimportantto him.

“Yes, of course I do,” I reply. “Why?”

“Okay. Great,” he says casually, before continuing to eat.

That’s it?

“No, what were you going to ask me?” I say.

“Nothing,” he says. “It’s not important anymore.”

“If I hypothetically were to say that I’m not sure, what would you have said?”

He’s not buying the whole hypothetical thing any less than I am, but sighs and explains, “Instead of focusing so much on if he likes you, maybe figure out if you really like him first. That’ll save you both the trouble.”

For someone who felt so confident about her feelings for a guy a week ago, why does this man’s response make me start to doubteverything?

Instead, I deflect, “Do you know Enrique’s type?”

After everything Luca just said, I’m not surprised that he almost looks a little annoyed that the first question I ask is once again a reference to what Enrique likes, rather than whatIwant. To my surprise, he still replies, “He doesn’t have one.”

I might as well ask Luca while we’re on the topic.For research purposes.

“Doyouhave a type?”

“Not really,” he almost hesitates, given how my questions are now all over the place. But he surprises me, when he also asks me, “Do you?”

From a complete physical standpoint, Luca comes pretty damn close to it.

Of course I can’t tell him that though, so I opt with, “Someone who’s loyal, respectful, and has a good sense of humor.”

He scoffs. “I don’t think anyone dislikes those traits. That’s hardly a type.”

“Yes it is,” I argue.

“Okay. Then we have thesametype then with your logic.”

“So there’s nothing in particular that makes you love someone even more?” I ask.

“I think loving someone is overrated,” he says stoically.

My brows furrow. “In what way?”

“I’d much rather find someone wholikesme,” Luca explains.

“Don’t we all,” I say.

“No, really, it’s easier to love someone than to like them.”

“I think I know what you’re trying to say. Like with family,” I add to his point.

“Yeah that’s a good example, but I think it can apply to anyone,” he says. “Recently I’ve been thinking how we spend so much time worrying about how the words ‘I love you’ will finally sound when the person you feel that way for confesses it to you or vice versa. But do those same people really like you for who you are? I haven’t found it.”

It occurs to me that Luca is finally opening up to me all of a sudden. I don’t know how we got here, but I don’t want it to end. “It’s a little odd hearing you say that,” I confess.

“You don’t have to agree with any of it,” he says. “It’s just how I feel lately.”

“No I mean, I feel like you’d be a really good boyfriend.”

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