Page 80 of All at Once

Admiring the shelves filled with bookmarks, beads, journals, among many other pieces of stationary, an older lady sitting behind the register welcomes me with a tender smile. As I wander the shop, I feel her eyes following me. I momentarily wonder if I’ve done something wrong, but each time I look up, she’s giving me the same kind, if not somewhat curious, expression. She then exchanges a few Spanish words with the younger woman standing alongside her.

“She’s wondering if you’re okay,” the younger woman says, and it only takes me a moment to realize her attention is directed toward me.

I’m startled at this observation.Do I really look that tense?

“Yeah, I’m okay,” I say.

I don’tfeelas stressed. But she must sense my underlying nerves, so I clarify, “I’m just a little confused about some things going on with these two guys.”

The younger woman whispers to the older lady and then tells me, “She says ‘Two? Good for you.’” They both chuckle together.

I feel my cheeks immediately blush. “No! It’s not like that.” Although I’m not so sure that I even knowwhatit is myself.

“We’re only teasing,” she clarifies. “She meant that she was supporting the idea.”

Now that I’ve confided in Luca about a ton of things that maybe Ishouldn’thave, hearing a woman’s perspective outside ofGeorgia’s wouldn’t hurt. “How can you tell if a guy likes you?” I ask. “Like,reallylikes you.”

After a minute of suspense, the younger woman translates, “Her advice is noticehowhe talks about you. How does he describe your eyes, for example?”

How he describes your eyes?It’s an interesting comment. But it’s also a little unusual.

“I’ve never really heard that before,” I admit with a grin. “Thank you.”

_________

I continue to ponder her words until I get back to my suite, realizing how I should have spent a day by myself sooner. I feel lighter about everything.Calmer, even.

That is, until I get to the lobby hours later, ready to leave for the party, and immediately find Luca.

Shit.

It’s like everything I just said turns obsolete as soon as I see him.

It’s not his grey shirt that resembles the same beguiling shade of the flecks in his eyes. It’s not the fact that his black trousers are slightly looser, making him look even more effortlessly cool than he already does. It’s not even his scent that only grows more consuming the closer I’m walking toward him.

It’s the way his eyes almost sink through mine no matter how far I catch them from. They lure me in, but bring me this fullness that I can’t seem to look away from, even when I’m at my most vulnerable.

It’s fine, I tell myself.I can just admire him from afar.

Once I’m close enough for him to notice me as well, he looks up so smoothly, yet there’s still some nervousness and regret in his eyes. “That’s a nice dress.”

He just has to say shit like that.

And my cheeks have to still flush. “Thanks,” I say.

I’m not sure if Enrique just got here, but when I turn around he’s on his phone, dressed similarly, but with a white shirt instead.

While Luca drives, he and Enrique share a story about one of their friends. It must be funny, considering how they’re both laughing for the majority of the ride there. Yet I’m a bit preoccupied. It dawns on me how the two guys I’m in the car with have consumed my thoughts and feelings for the past week. But in very different ways.

Thankfully, my attention is turned elsewhere when we reach a long and narrow pathway that leads to a variety of impressive villas. And of course the party is literally at a mansion.

I think out loud, “Shit. This place could also be a resort.”

“Wait until you see the backyard,” Enrique says, while he and Luca bring a few paper bags from the trunk.

“Do you need me to carry anything?” I offer.

Luca replies, “No, we’re good. It’s just some drinks.”