Page 54 of The Stand-In Boyfriend

I don’t have to explain, he knows.

“I… I don’t know. I liked Evie, but I knew she didn’t see me like that, and I knew she was slipping through my fingers. I drank one too many, and thought if I could show her, maybe it would make a difference. But it didn’t.”

No, it didn’t. Shame and regret are written all over his face. And I can’t help but wonder… does he still feel something for her? Is a part of him still in love with her?

My heart squeezes painfully.

No, you’re not going there. Stupid, stupid heart. He isn’t yours. He never was and never will be.

“I never meant to hurt her. Never meant for it to get that far… I…”

“I believe you.”

But it doesn’t stop the ache in my heart.

* * *

NOAH

I pick up the box and take it to the kitchen. Jessy has grown silent as we finished our dinner. Well, she was more absentmindedly nibbling at her slice while I munched down half the pizza and watched her. I could practically hear her think next to me, but for the love of me I couldn’t figure out what’s on her mind. She said she believed me, but it had to be something I said. What else could it be?

Coming onto Evie last year was the lowest point of my life. The look in Evie’s eyes as we were finally interrupted, the fear in them, will stay with me forever. I have never been more ashamed than after it finally hit me what I’d done.

When I return to the living room she’s staring ahead, but her eyes are unfocused. Her head snaps toward me when she hears my footsteps.

“I think we should stop this,” she says, her gaze trained somewhere over my shoulder.

“What?” My heartbeat kicks up a notch, palms turning sweaty. She couldn’t be talking about…

“Us.” There is finality in her voice. “I think we should stop this fake dating thing before it gets out of hand.”

I run my hand over my face. “Where is this coming from?”

She can’t break it off now. We haveweeksbefore homecoming. It’s too early.

“Will it really make a difference if it’s now or if it’s in a couple of weeks? We were breaking up regardless. Not that there’s actually anything to break. This is—we are—fake.”

“It’s not fake to me,” I blurt out, the words coming out before I can stop them. At least they’re notthosewords.

“What?” Her dark eyes grow wide, but at least she’s looking at me right now. If she wants to break this off, she might as well look me in the face when she does it.

Not that there is actually anything to break.

Nah, just my fucking heart.

“It’s not fake to me. It might have started like that but…” I slowly move closer, because I know she might bolt otherwise. “It stopped being fake after a while.”

“You’re joking.” She looks at me as if waiting for reassurance. I have none. “You have to be joking.” Still nothing. “You… are for real?” It comes out as a question.

Can she really not see it?

Doesn’t she feel it?

Jessy lifts her eyes all the way up to my face. I’m standing so close she doesn’t have any other choice. Slowly, I pick up her hand and press it to my chest, right over my wildly beating heart.

“Can’t you feel it?”

“B-but you… and Evie and…”

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