Page 104 of Need You To Choose Me

I watch his chest shake as he sucks in a long breath and lets it out, repeating the motion a few times. Once he’s calm enough, I explain, “Savannah has gestational diabetes.”

Daniel blinks, his brows pulling together. “What is that?”

“High blood sugar in pregnancy. Her blood sugar spiked suddenly, and her body couldn’t deal with it, so she fainted. It’s not your fault, Daniel.”

He blinks a few times as if he’s trying to wrap his mind around it. Daniel lets out a long breath, his whole body shuddering as if the weight has fallen off his shoulders.

I pull him to me and repeat, “It’s not your fault.”

He nods and buries his head in the crook of my neck. I didn’t realize this whole situation hit him as hard as it did, so I just held him, rubbing his back, until I could feel that he’s calmed down enough.

“But Daniel?”

Pulling back, he bows his head and rubs at his eyes. “Yeah?”

“This shit has to stop,” I say slowly and wait for him to lift his gaze before I continue. “I know that this situation is far from ideal. I know this isn’t what you would have wanted. I understand that you’re angry, but the only person you should be angry at is me. Savannah? She didn’t do anything to you. She’s just trying to be nice and do the best that she can with the cards that she’s been dealt. What you said to her today crossed every line. You had no right to act that way or to call her those names.”

Red creeps up his cheeks in embarrassment, but he doesn’t try to deny it.

“She didn’t choose this. Do you think anybody sane would willingly choose the mess that’s our family? Because if I was in her place, I sure as hell wouldn’t.”

“I guess not,” Daniel mumbles.

“This wasn’t some elaborate plot on her or my side, but she’s pregnant, and there is no changing that. That baby? It’s yourbrother or sister.” His throat bobs as he swallows, but he doesn’t say anything. I run my hand over my face, letting it fall into my lap. “You’ll apologize to her for what you said today.”

Daniel opens his mouth, and I can see one of those testy comments is on the tip of his tongue, but he bites the words back and nods. “Okay.”

“And you’ll be nice to her. No snarky comments and no glaring. She’s dealing with a lot as it is, and gestational diabetes isn’t something to joke about. She doesn’t need any more stress than she’s already under. And not because she’s trying to be your mother.” I give him a pointed look. “But because she doesn’t want my relationship with you boys to suffer because of her.”

Daniel pushes to his feet. “We didn’t need her for that.”

“No, we didn’t,” I agree. “That’s the mess I made all on my own, but I want to make this right. I love you, Daniel. Despite the fact that some days you drive me crazy, and I contemplate strangling you, you’re my son, and I love you. I’ll always love you.”

Daniel’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. He shifts his weight and runs his fingers through his hair. “I said I’ll apologize, geez.” His hand drops. “I’m going to bed.”

He shakes his head and goes toward the door. I watch him for a moment longer, and just as I start to turn, I spot him lingering in the doorway.

“Dad?”

“Yes?”

I’m not quite sure what’s going on in his head. I haven’t known for a while now. The little boy he used to be, who’d run into my arms every time he’d see me, was long gone. Mostly thanks to my actions. Now he was a young man full of resentment at me and the world, and I was trying my best to get through to him.

Today felt like the beginning, though. To what, I wasn’t exactly sure. Only time will be able to tell.

Daniel opens his mouth, but no words come out. “Nothing.” He shakes his head before slipping into the house.

Running my hand over my face, I pinch the bridge of my nose and just sit there in silence. I could feel a headache brewing behind my temples as everything that happened today played on a loop in my mind.

Sighing, I pick up the glass and enter the quiet house. I make sure everything is locked before I go upstairs to check on Savannah. All the information I read about gestational diabetes was still going through my head, and I couldn’t stop thinking about all the bad things that could happen.

I push the door open, the light peeking through the crack in the door, making Savannah’s hair shine brightly.

Staying as quiet as possible, I go to my dresser and pull a pair of loose basketball pants on. I’m just about to head out when I hear Savannah’s soft voice. “Blake?”

It’s slightly raspy from sleep, or maybe she needs some water. The doctor said she should drink more fluids. And now that thought has sneaked into my head, I couldn’t stop more dark thoughts from entering my mind.

“Yeah?” I close the distance between us. “You okay? Need me to bring you any?—”

---