Page 134 of Need You To Choose Me

“Try to get some rest now, okay?”

The loud creaking of the bed echoes in the room as she pushes to her feet. I extend my hand, my sweaty fingers wrapping around Grams’ wrist. My ears are buzzing, my heart beating wildly against my rib cage as I tighten my hold on her, those crystal blue eyes crinkled at the corners shifting to me.

“Don’t leave me.”

Although his words are barely a whisper, there is no missing the fear and desperation in his voice. I know all too well how it feels to be left behind and cling to every last bit of the familiarity, and a little bit of my heart breaks for the boy in front of me.

Pushing the memory back, I gently brush his hair out of his face. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Levi’s forehead still feels warm, but not as much as it was when I just got here. Maybe he did manage to get down some of the medicine after all.

“Promise?”

“I promise. I’m not going anywhere.” I sit on the bed, and he slides closer to me almost instantly. “Can you try to drink a little bit more of that medicine for me?” Levi nods, so I grab the syrup and pour it for him. “Sleep.”

Levi nuzzles his face into my side. He looks so young when he sleeps, so vulnerable, that it breaks my heart.

So much has happened in his short life, so many changes, it’s not even strange he’s so scared of being left alone.

“I wish you were my mom.”

I suck in a sharp breath, stunned by his words.

They’re said so softly that, at first, I think I’ve imagined them. I knew Levi liked me. He was an affectionate kid who wasn’t afraid to show his emotions, but this? I didn’t know what to do with this. How to feel about it.

“He fell asleep?”

I jump a little bit in surprise at the sound of Daniel’s voice. Looking up, I find him standing in the doorway.

Did he hear what Levi said?

I watch him carefully but can’t find an answer on his face.

You’re not our mother!

Daniel’s words were still echoing in my head, even now. I didn’t blame him for saying it. Not one bit. He was right. I wasn’t their mother. I would never be their mother. I didn’t want that. But was it so wrong of me to want them in Munchkin’s life? For wanting my baby to have a family, siblings, I so desperately wanted but never had?

“Yeah, I think he’s wiped out.” My gaze falls to the little boy sleeping soundly in bed, still holding onto me. I brush one curl out of his face. “Let’s just hope he keeps down the medicine and doesn’t throw up again.”

Daniel moves closer, his attention on his brother. “Dad’s going to kill me.”

There is no fear on his face anymore, just resignation. And tiredness.

“He’s not going to kill you.”

“I promised him that I would take care of Levi. He’s been gone for less than twenty-four hours, and Levi is sick. I messed it all up.”

“You didn’t mess it all up, Daniel.” He looks at me, biting at his lip. “Things don’t always go how we expect or plan them. What matters is what you do with that. You saw you were over your head, and you came to ask for help. Levi is clean, he had his medicine and is resting. You did everything you were supposed to.”

“But if I watched over him like I said I would…”

I shake my head. “He would still have gotten sick. There was no avoiding that.”

Munchkin’s foot connects with my ribs, kicking the air out of my lungs. I press my hand against the spot, rubbing at it.

Daniel notices it too, his eyes narrowing. “Are you okay?”

“Fine. Baby is kicking. I think I have a future football player on my hands.” The corner of my mouth lifts up, but Daniel stayssilent, his attention still on my stomach. I wonder what’s going through his head, but I fear that if I ask, this temporary truce might be over, and I don’t want to risk it.

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