Page 1 of Unloved

PROLOGUEFreshman Year—“The Night He Doesn’t Remember”Ro

I can be whoever I want to be.

I repeat the mantra in my head three more times before opening my eyes and giving myself another slow once-over in our stuffy dorm bathroom mirror.

I can be whoever I want to be.

Again, I say it as I run my hands over the tight black tank with wispy straps and the black denim skirt, pulling both down again, as if there is any material left to cover my exposed belly button and above-average-length legs. The urge to change again is overwhelming, but…

I can be whoever I want to be.

But I feel hot. I feel powerful and beautiful.

There’s a knock at the door, and then, “You okay?” muttered in a bored tone through the thin wood.

I swing it open with a confident smile, flicking a few harshly straightened pieces of hair over my shoulder.

“What do you think?” I ask, eyes bouncing across the effortless sex appeal of my new roommate.

Self-consciously, I look down at myself just as she does, because next to Sadie Brown, I’m starting to think I might as well tattooVIRGINacross my forehead.

The girl is tiny and muscular, strong legs and an ass I’d kill for currently wrapped in leather, a baby blue corset brightening her pale skin. Even her makeup—eyes darkened with perfect winged eyeliner and ruby-red lips—makes me feel a bit like a kid who smeared some of her mom’s glitter on her eyelids before getting caught.

“You look gorgeous,” she says, then without a second glance she’s already focused on her phone, absorbed in whomever she’s rapidly texting. It stings a little, as it has a million times in the last month since we met on move-in day. But I’m determined I can get her to like me. She’ll be my friend.

I can be whoever I want to be.

“Ready?”

I smile again, bright and hopeful, even though she doesn’t return it.

“Yeah,” I breathe. “I’m ready.”

I’m overwhelmed in minutes, but in the best way, vibrating with excitement. I feel my spine loosening like a snake charmed by the intoxicating energy around me. Music thumps so loudly I can feel it in my heels, shaking me with the movement as I stumble blindly behind Sadie through the crowd—desperate to keep up with her, even though she won’t hold my hand.

I don’t need her to hold my hand. I’m not a child.

A body shoves into me, knocking my shoulder hard enough that I stumble off my overly high heels and into a wall. The guy apologizes and tries to smile at me, but I push past him, desperate to keep up with my roommate.

We stop short, standing by the entrance into the main room where everyone is either sitting on couches or dancing in a way that’s making my face hot watching it.

My stomach twists with a mixture of want and anxiety.

“You doing okay?” Sadie asks as a massive body brushes behind her and she elbows him off her with a grunted curse.

“Yeah,” I say, feeling a bit like I’m shouting. “This is cool.”

She nods and scans me again, and my neck feels hot, self-consciousness kicking up at her observation.

I can be whoever I want to be.

Flicking my hair over my shoulder, I smile brighter.

“Do you want a drink?” I ask.

“I’ll be right back,” she says at the same time, her words and voice drowning mine out easily.

“Where are you going?” I try to ask casually, but I’m gripping her wrist tightly, a life vest in the sea of bodies around me.

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