Page 93 of Of Vows and Betrayal

Sweet Ophelia,

I know you’re angry, and you don’t want to listen. I can’t blame you—I truly can’t, and I’ve faltered more than anyone in this narrative. But I need to speak, and you need to listen… or read, for that matter, so I have to revert to the old-fashioned handwritten letter. It truly is a lost art, and I like it. I hope you read this and the ones that will follow.

I didn’t mean to leave like that without a word. That’s not me, not us, but I’m not sure what to say or do.

When I first met you, I was a man consumed by vengeance. Your father’sactions left scars that ran deep, and my life was defined by my need for retribution. I sacrificed so much to get to him that I didn’t care who I destroyed along the way. I became someone I’m not proud of, and I can see now how much I hurt you.

You came into my life like a beacon of light. You made me feel things I didn’t think I was capable of feeling again. I tried to ignore it at first, to push you away, because my quest for revenge seemed more important than anything else. But the truth is, you became the redemption I didn’t know I was searching for.

You’ve seen parts of me that I’ve kept hidden for so long, parts that I’m not proud of. My life has been a series of masks and facades, each one crafted to protect myself and those I care about. But with you, sweetheart, I want to be different. I want to be the man you deserve.

I understand now that love isn’t about control or protection to the point of suffocation. It’s about trust, about allowing the person you love to be free and to grow.

I’m giving you space, not because I want to, but because I need you to see that my love for you is not about keeping you bound to me. It’s about wanting the best for you, even if that means stepping back.

Remember the night you told me about your dreamsbefore entering the golden cage of the Gambinos? You spoke with such hope, such a vision for a future that was bright and boundless. That’s the future I want for you, whether or not it includes me.

But I hope it does. I hope you can find it in your heart to see past the mistakes and see the man who loves you more than words can ever express. I’m not perfect—far from it—but I am willing to spend every day proving that my love for you is real and unwavering.

This isn’t the end of our story, Ophelia. It’s just a pause, a moment for reflection. I will be back, and when I return, I hope we can start anew.

I love you,

Your Javier

My breath hitches as my vision blurs with tears. I rest the letter against my chest. He wants me to be happy, and I want that too. I’m just not sure how right now.

As days go by, I keep receiving letters. After a few days, Derek stops pretending he’s not the messenger and just hands it to me every morning.

I wake up excited, just waiting to read what beautiful and raw words Javier will give me today.

Sweet Ophelia,

I’m sitting in a small café in London, waiting for the board meeting to start. The hustle and bustle of the city around me feels so distant, like I’m in a bubble, disconnected from everything except my thoughts of you.

I can’t stop thinking about how it would be herewith you. I see couples walking hand in hand, sharing moments of quiet intimacy, and all I can imagine is you by my side, your hand in mine. I can picture us exploring the city together, your eyes lighting up with that unique blend of curiosity and wonder that you have.

The Thames at night is a sight to behold, Ophelia. The lights reflecting off the water, the historic buildings standing tall and proud—it’s breathtaking. But it feels incomplete without you here to share it with me. I long to see the awe on your face, to hear your thoughts, to experience everything through your eyes.

You once told me about your dream to travel, to see the world beyond the confines of the life you were thrust into. I want to be the one to give you that, to show you the beauty that exists beyond our past and the pain it holds. I want to create new memories with you, ones that are filled with joy and love, not shadows and regret.

And the flower shop—don’t deny yourself that dream just because it came from me. The joy and passion you felt for Midsummer Petals are real, and they belong to you. You deserve to live that dream fully, to surround yourself with the beauty and tranquility that flowers bring. Let go of any guilt or hesitation. You are perfection, and you deserve to embrace everything that makes you happy.

I know I’ve asked for your forgiveness, but I also need to forgive myself. I need to believe that I am capable of change, that I am worthy of the love you’ve shown me. It’s a journey, one that I am committed to because you are worth every step, every struggle, every momentof doubt.

I miss you more than words can express, and a part of me selfishly hopes that you miss me too. Even just a little. The distance between us is a constant reminder of what I’ve foolishly lost and hope to regain. I dream of the day I can return to you, not just as a man seeking redemption, but as a man who is worthy of a second chance because Ophelia, my sweet love, I will never mess up again.

Until then, know that my thoughts, my heart, and my tattered soul are yours.

With all my love,

Your Javier

Damn, that man knows his way through words and feelings, and every letter just thaws my heart a little more, but every morning when Derek is looking at me expectantly, I just take the letter and thank him, never giving him one of my own.

I don’t know what to say, so I just don’t say anything, and the letters keep on coming. I look at the calendar—the date of his return is approaching, and I know that I need to make a choice, a decision if there’s a future for us. A future that may take work, yes. It will take time to rebuild the trust, to get to know this version of him, but I need to let him know if there’s at least a chance.

At least, I thought I did until this morning when Derek handed me the last letter, his face grim.

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