Page 19 of A Better Place

“You don’t have to be.” He shrugs. It seems weird that my best friend is my sixteen-year-old son. But we’ve been through more together than most mothers and sons. The fact that he just gets it, is mindful of everything that’s happened, makes me love him even more, if possible.

“Thank you, Jack.”

“You’re welcome, Mom. But just to say, I only met him last night and think he’s totally cool. He seems like a really nice guy, and if you’re not ready because of me, don’t worry about it. I’m here for you, and that’s it.”

“You’re a good kid,” I repeat.

He smiles and reaches over to me, pulling me in for a hug.

“Love you, Mom.”

“Love you, too, kiddo. Now, get out of here. Looks like you have a few people waiting.” I motion with my head in the direction where a giddy-looking Maggie stands with Bri and a scowling Grady.

“Oh, that looks like fun,” he says, chuckling.

“It won’t be easy.”

“But it will be worth it.” He climbs out of the pickup.

I watch as he strides toward the trio. Grady looks down at Bri, his body seeming to relax. Maggie is nearly bouncing on her toes as Jack gets closer. He steps right in front of Maggie as Grady also takes a step closer to her. Bri tugs on his arm. Grady’s shoulders rise and fall in a deep exhale, then he turns and says something to Jack. Jack nods his head and sticks his fist out to bump.

Grady returns the fist-bump halfheartedly. Bri giggles and begins walking away with Grady reluctantly in tow.

It makes my heart joyful to see Jack this happy. To see him putting himself out there. As soon as they turn their backs, Jack reaches up a hand and tugs on Maggie’s ponytail and motions to her jersey — that has his number on it. She smiles and turns her head. He stuffs his hands in his jeans pockets as they continue talking. It’s such a typical scene but still adorable.

I lock up Jack’s truck and make my way to my car, noticing the parking lot is pretty empty now, aside from several student vehicles and one lone car that just started up and is pulling away from its spot. I wonder how long — or if — James stood around waiting for me to stop acting immature. The fact that it even crosses my mind bothers me.

I’m not ready.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.

I’m not harboring feelings for Vince. Well, except for hate. That one is holding pretty strong.

I hate him for making me scared to live a normal life.

I hate him for making me doubt myself.

I hate him for making me never want to love again.

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