Page 53 of A Better Place

“Lily. It’s such a pleasure to meet you. You’re absolutely breathtaking.”

“It’s so good to finally meet you as well. Dad didn’t mention you were so beautiful.”

“Hey!” I protest because I have absolutely mentioned it. I mean… it’s her name in my phone for crying out loud!

But they both ignore my protest, continuing to look each other in the eyes, whispering things to each other that I’d die to hear.

Lily’s lower lip starts trembling, and she sucks in a breath and says quietly, “Thank you.”

Carly shrugs one shoulder, and I wonder again what I’m missing, but one thing I know I’m not missing is the easy affection between my daughter and my girl. Mercy, they’re gonna kill me.

“Are we gonna stand out here all night bawling around in the freezing cold, or can we go in and get our Christmas on already?” Jack, ever the teenage boy.

“Let’s get inside,” Carly says, smiling at Lily, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

Lily’s arm snakes around Carly’s waist, and I’m left standing on the steps.

Jack bumps my shoulder as he walks past me and slaps me on the back. “Come on. You promised me we’d cook and I’m hungry for some seafood chowder.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm. ‘Tis the season, yo!”

“You did not just say that.”

“Oh yeah, I did.”

“You’re as nerdy as me,” I tell him.

He chuckles, shaking his head.

We walk into the house, a house that’s quickly feeling like home. The fire is going in the corner, a Christmas movie is on the TV and the white lights on the tree are twinkling. I look around the room, feeling like I’m seeing a bit of what our future could look like, and now, more than ever, I want it.

Jack, Lily, and Carly are standing close to each other. Jack is showing Lily something on his phone. Lily looks up at Carly who’s nodding her head, and the three of them laugh together. Lily reaches up and snags the Santa hat off Jack’s head and fits it on her own before quickly darting away. Jack chases her and lifts her from behind, and I’m hit with what it would have looked like if Lily would have had a brother. And maybe, just maybe, she will.

The force of emotion coming over me is so physical I stumble back a few steps. I place my hand on my chest over my heart and swallow. Carly glances in my direction and smiles that perfect, sweet smile that makes my knees weak. She walks in my direction, and I reach out and pull her to me, not being able to stop myself.

I wrap my arms around her tight and once again bury my face in her hair.

“Thank you,” I murmur.

“For what?”

“For letting us be a part of your day.”

“James,” she says, her voice shaky.

“One day, Carly. You just gave me a glimpse of what could be, and I’m telling you right now, it will happen. When you’re in a better place, right along with me.”

“Yeah,” she agrees.

“Yo! James! Get your butt in here and help me! Don’t want to cook Christmas dinner by myself, man!”

Carly giggles and leans back then reaches up on her toes and kisses me on the cheek, her lips lingering before she says into my ear, “Better get in there to help my boy. Sounds like he needs you.”

My body shudders at her words. “What about you, Carly? Do you need me?”

“I… I’m beginning…”

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