Page 64 of A Better Place

“Definitely. But that’s not what I meant.”

“She’ll be okay,” I promise him.

He stares at me for a while and shifts in his seat before lowering his eyes. He leans over, resting his elbows on his knees, and clasps his hands together in front of him. He chews on his bottom lip, no doubt a trait he picked up from his mom.

“You know, when we relocated here, everything had happened so fast. We just had to get out of there. We had to. We came here, and it’s been great. And then, well, we kept moving forward. Never thinking about it or talking about it, really.”

He’s looking at his mom, but wherever his mind is, it’s definitely not here. I don’t want to go behind Carly’s back and talk about their past, but it’s clear that Jack needs to talk to someone, and I don’t want to stop him.

“He was such a bastard,” he says, his voice low and angry.

What. The. Hell?

My fists clench, jaw tightens, and anger courses through my veins so rapidly that my heart starts racing, and my breathing goes shallow. The room feels like it’s heating up as I try to remain calm. I stay seated, though what I really want to do is stand up and pace.

“I always had this feeling, you know?” he says as he looks from his mom to me and back at her again. “I mean, I wasn’t stupid because obviously, I lived there. And there were these times that I heard things. I hoped it wasn’t that way, but she always tried to shield me from it. Always. And I get it. I really do. I’m her kid, her only child. She’s one of those moms that you just know would go all mama bear on anyone she thought was hurting her son. She’d take a bullet to the heart or a thousand beatings before letting it come at me. But I couldn’t… I just couldn’t, James.”

He looks in my direction again and that’s when I know he needs me to hear whatever is about to come out of his mouth. As much as it angers me to hear what I’m hearing, I do my best to keep a straight face.

“That’s why I introduced her to Tate, you know. She needed that, to realize that she was stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Especially him. She’s fierce, man. I mean, you’ve seen her in there. She has this kick that can take a grown man down like that,” he says, snapping his fingers, smiling slightly. “And it’s so awesome. To see that. To see that she can defend herself. Because at one point, she couldn’t. And I couldn’t. But never again. Never again, James,” he repeats and starts shaking his head. He looks at me, and tears have filled his eyes. “I won’t let it happen. I won’t let some man come in and bring her down.”

“Jack…”

“No. Just listen to me.” His voice has gone hard, and he’s angrily swiping away a tear that escaped. I nod my head for him to continue. “I love that she’s opening herself up to you. For a long time, it was just her and me. She’s the best person in my life, James. She’s my only family. You don’t know what it was like. To see the person you love most in the entire world… and I already told you I approve of you. I already told you that I think you’re a good guy. I was being honest. It’s not about that. I want her happy and feeling safe more than anything. But seeing her like this?” he says, pointing to her lying on the couch, a trail of drool coming out of her mouth. Even drunk off her ass, she’s beautiful.

“This makes me scared. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. Something triggered her to get to this point because my mom? She doesn’t drink. Her mom…”

I pause, wondering if it will bother him to know she and I spoke about it, but I want the honesty to stay open between us so I let it out. “I know. She told me.”

“Then you know this isn’t like her.”

He’s definitely not lying there.

“No, you’re right about that.”

“So, tell me — why now? In all of her forty-two years, she’s never once gotten drunk, but knowing you for a few weeks, and that goes out the window?”

I wish I had a good explanation for him, but in the end, he wants the truth, so I give it to him. “She’s falling for me, or maybe already has, and it scares her.”

He looks at me with his eyebrows drawn close and sits up. “What?”

“Jack, I assume you want truth from me, yeah?”

“That’d be good.”

“I’m falling for your mom in a big way. Like in an I can see a forever with her kind of way. And I know that she’s right there with me. But, like I said, it scares her. I don’t know your story. Not fully anyway. I’ve gathered some stuff, assumed things… but you know what they say about assuming. And I really, really hope I’m wrong about everything I think I know, but I’m afraid that I’m right,” I say to him.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and nods faintly.

“Jack, I think tonight was your mom letting it all out. And not that I like seeing her like this, but maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe she needed to have a night where she let herself…”

“Get wasted?”

“Well, yeah. Not really, but yeah. Am I making any sense?”

I am messing this up so badly.

“Kind of.”

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