Page 19 of Waiting for Her

After I had my first legitimate panic attack, I asked her what she knew.

I needed the truth. It was the only way I could continue to move forward.

And what she knew should have made me feel better. According to Mom, they dated a few times then decided to remain friends, but there was nothing romantic between them. But that’s the thing that won’t allow my heart to settle down. At one point, Grady and I were just friends, too.

“Sorry,” I mumble, and she beams her pearly whites down at me, her bright blue eyes twinkle as her gorgeous blonde curls bounce around her. Her hand settles on my upper arm to steady me.

“No problem. I wasn’t watching where I was going, either.” She looks at me a little closer and for a brief moment I swear I see her smile falter. It’s so quick I can’t be sure, though. Her fingers lightly squeeze once, and she moves on to her destination.

Grady.

My heart sinks to my toes as I watch her approach their table, her long legs eating up the distance between where I’m standing and him in only a few strides. I glance down at my feet but the masochist in me can’t look away for long.

She slides a well-manicured hand, the one that had just been touching me, across the top of his back in a move so familiar and intimate, it makes me ache.

That used to be me.

He turns his head and looks up at her, he smiles and stands to greet her with a kiss on the cheek. She beams in response and my body heats. He pulls out a chair for her and she sits in it, leaning a little closer when it appears she’s trying to tell him something.

She smiles at him like he’s her everything.

I get it.

He was once my everything, too.

I feel like someone’s watching me and look to see Cole’s eyes on me, knowing I’m watching the interaction. His head gives a small shake and I shrug because, what am I going to do? Go over there and rip out her beautiful hair for being a friend to Grady when I was too much of a wuss to realize I was making the biggest mistake of my life?

Grady leans back in his chair, his arm not sliding to the back of Kennedy’s chair, but over Mia’s. He grips her shoulder and pulls her in to his side.

I sit on a stool next to the bar, watching the table full of friends I once considered family talk and laugh, sing along and dance together as Brandon continues to entertain the growing crowd.

Strangers, or at least I think they are, approach Grady, offering him their congratulations. Grady takes it all in stride.

Smiling.

Welcoming.

Generous with his time.

As hard as I try, I can’t take my eyes off him. And every so often, I notice him watching me, too. I’m like a sponge, soaking up every bit of Grady’s presence I can get that I’ve been missing over the past six years. Funny how you don’t realize how much a person is a part of you, until they’re gone.

I sip my water, knowing I can’t be confusing myself with the effects of alcohol right now. Brandon’s band continues to play. I’ve been wanting to hear them in person for so long, I could kick myself for not allowing myself to enjoy it. But right now, my heart isn’t into it.

I finally drag my eyes away from where the group sits, and I reach for my purse, sliding a ten-dollar bill to the bartender who was nice enough not to judge me or stop refilling my plain water. Just as I’m ready to leave, to stop behaving like a forlorn lover, a commotion catches my eye.

And the disturbance only continues when I hear Brandon shout into the microphone, “Sorry folks, I’m gonna have to leave you in the hands of Jude for the rest of the night! I’m about to be an uncle!” He whoops and hands his guitar over to who I assume is Jude then jumps off the stage, rushing to his twin sister’s side. Mia folds over in pain, and a huge puddle of what I hope is water gushes underneath her.

In another time, I would be running out the door with the family.

Instead, I watch as they rush past me, not even glancing in my direction or giving me a second thought.

Grady

“It’s a boy!” Cole shouts as he slides around the corner into the family waiting room we’ve been pacing around.

My dad and mom crush him in a hug while Lauren and Josh, Mia’s parents, hug him from the other side.

Our families have known each other since our parents were kids, even before they were high school sweethearts. It’s no wonder Cole fell for his and I fell for mine.

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