Page 54 of Waiting for Her

“That I went to the hospital?” I clarify.

“Yes.”

“I don’t think so. At least, he doesn’t seem to know.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Eventually. Yes. I plan to tell him everything that happened over those years we were apart.”

She sighs, relief evident in her voice when she says, “Good. It will be okay, Bri. I’m glad you’re moving forward.”

“Long time coming,” Andy murmurs.

They would think that, considering they’ve been pushing me the entire time to be honest with Grady.

We talk for a few more minutes, her asking me to come to their house the following weekend and throwing in that the boys are going to be home, too.

I’m just about to tell them that I’ll be there when out of the corner I notice Grady’s sliding door opening. He walks through, bottle of beer dangling between his fingers and Drew following close behind. His dog hot on their heels. They each sit down on a chair on the patio, and I slink back in my seat. My knees tucked up close to my chest. So maybe I have been hiding a little.

“Oh my gosh, guys, I gotta go,” I whisper.

“Why? What’s happening?” Andy whispers back.

Turd.

“I see Grady. I’m not ready for him to know I’m…”

“Watching him?” my mom interrupts.

“Yes!” I whisper shout, my hand covering the phone.

Seriously. Bless my own heart for how immature I’m being.

“Bri?” Andy asks.

“Yes?”

“It’s time, sweetheart. You need to step up. We’re here for you and always will be, but it’s time. You’ve held onto this fear of him rejecting you, of love not being enough, for far too long. Pull up your big girl britches and prove to Hazel that you’re as strong as she thinks you are. You’re better than this.”

I sit stunned silent.

“Look at your mom and me. I cannot imagine letting my own stupidity get in the way of what we have. My life would suck without you guys in it. I want what’s best for you. Six years is a long damn time to punish yourself.”

“I wasn’t punishing myself,” I say quietly, knowing it’s a lie.

“Yeah, you were. And believe me. I get it. It’s hard admitting out loud you made a mistake, but it’s even harder admitting it to yourself. Remember that when you forgive yourself, it’s a hell of a lot easier to ask for forgiveness from others.”

“How’d you get so smart?”

“I almost lost you and your mom once, remember?”

“But you pulled your head out of your butt after only like a month. Andy, I’ve been living in this stupidity for six years. What the heck is wrong with me?” I cry out much louder than I intended then quick look over toward Grady’s house to make sure he didn’t hear me. Luckily, it appears I’m still undetected.

“Nothing is wrong with you. You had a lot hit you at once between the baby and the breakup and it would shake anybody up. And then it was easier for you to ignore it, shove it into this box in your past, than confront it. You’re not weak. You’re not stupid. You’re human. And, it’s time to give yourself a bit of grace. But start with admitting to yourself that you’re worthy of it. Forgive yourself then worry about getting it from Grady.”

“And when you do,” Mom says, interjecting herself into the conversation for the first time in a while, “I have a Team Grady shirt all ready for you.”

A watery laugh escapes me, and I wipe the tears that began to stream down my face when Andy started talking.

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