Page 43 of Staying for You

“I wish it was.”

“Yeah, me, too.”

We let that sink in. He’s opening himself up to me without even trying to. I can see that he’s dealing with his own past, though, I have a feeling it’s not like my own. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he truly just enjoys being away from it all, away from people and society. Living a simpler life, of sorts. I look into his eyes, hoping for answers. All I get, though, is comfort and sincerity. That his apology wasn’t just for show, like it always was with Scott. I don’t need to see the list to know what it says, or to know the truth behind it. The thoughtfulness that was put into it.

“What’s your past you’re up here running from, Owen?”

He blows out a breath. Gives me an ornery, crooked grin. It’s a nice deflection. “Why do you think I’m running from anything?”

I shrug a shoulder. “A hunch, I guess.”

“I never really thought I was running, so to speak.” I tilt my head, encouraging him to continue. “I found a life here that suited me and I ran with it. I like it here. Away from the possibilities of getting hurt.”

“You’ve been hurt?”

“Who hasn’t?”

Yes. He’s been hurt. Maybe it was years ago and he shielded himself from that ever happening again or maybe what he said is true. He found a life here that he liked, maybe even loved, and saw no reason to change. Either way, he’s here. And while I am, also, I won’t be here forever. And I don’t see him leaving anytime soon. Maybe ever.

I wonder, though… Gretchen told me before I left that I needed to have some fun. I’d been without the feeling of a man’s affection for so long. So. Long. She told me what I needed was a man between the past and the future. A transition, so to speak. I waved her off, thought she was crazy and told her as much, but I’m beginning to think there’s something to it. I’m not sure Owen wants anything more than what I can give him so maybe he’s the perfect transition Gretchen spoke of. Besides, I can’t deny how attracted I am to him.

“I read it in a book. A woman was just getting out of a shitty marriage and her best friend suggested a transition guy. The guy between the shitty one and her one day forever.”

“Was this a fiction?”

“Of course it was. But that doesn’t mean it’s not true. You need to get laid, girl. Going off to the woods where you’re all alone isn’t going to get your vagina any sort of happiness.”

Vagina happiness? She’s so crazy. I love her.

“I’ll bring my vibrator,” I assure her.

“Well, pardon me for being blunt…”

“As if you’ve ever apologized for that before…”

“But you need dick.”

“I had a dick around me for eight years,” I smirk, knowing she doesn’t mean Scott’s actions, “and it wasn’t all that great.” This entire conversation is making me a little nervous. Itchy.

I do want a real live man to make me feel wanted. Like a woman. But I’m not sure if I’m ready for that.

“I suppose you have a point. It would be stupid of us to even think about starting anything up, even if it’s just... you know.” I waggle my eyebrows and gesture between us, hoping he gets my meaning. I wonder if he can sense the hesitation in my words. The fact that it’s the opposite of what I would like if our situations were different. The more I’m in his presence, the more I want to do exactly what I just said was stupid.

“It would be,” he agrees, leaning closer.

“A terrible, terrible idea,” I whisper as I mimic his movement.

Our lips are a breath apart and I know deep down that if we cross this line, there will be no turning back. It’s a horrible idea. I don’t live anywhere close but I can’t stop myself from wanting more. I have no desire to resist this temptation — this pull he has on me.

Chapter Thirteen

Owen

I can feelher breath on my lips. Smell the sweet coconut of her shampoo mixed with the coffee she just drank. I want to remove the last few inches of space between us but I know if I do, everything will change.

She’s a guest at my resort.

She lives hundreds of miles away.

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