Page 79 of Staying for You

Now it’s my turn to look away because when she gives me the answer to my next question, I can’t be looking at her. “When are you leaving?”

She shifts on her feet, putting weight on her right then her left back to her right again. “I guess, tomorrow?”

I hold my breath, wanting my next words to come out carefully. I nod, still not looking at her. “If you need anything, let me know.”

“If I need anything?” she asks and the sound of her voice almost drops me to my knees. It’s dejected and hurt and sad and worse of all… resigned.

“Yeah. Packing or whatever.”

“Packing or whatever,” she repeats and like the asshole I am, I only nod again, finally taking the risk to look back at her. Bad idea. I look just in time to see a tear fall.

When she finally speaks again, her voice is stronger than earlier. “I think I’ll be alright on my own.”

“You know where to find me.”

“Yup. Well, I’d better get to the packing or whatever. Long drive ahead of me tomorrow.”

“Alright then. Good luck.”

“You, too.” Her response doesn’t make any sense but I get it.

She’s sad. Angry. Hurt.

Exactly like me.

Already walking away, her shoulders are slumped as she heads back to her cabin.

And then, because I can’t help myself and that anger that’s masking the hurt is running deep, I drive my point home. “Cami?”

She lifts a hand and I know she just wiped away a tear when she turns around and looks at me. “Yeah?”

“It’ll be good.”

“What will?”

Throwing her words back at her, the words that she didn’t even know I overheard, I explain, “For you to get back to that life you’ve been taking a break from. I’m just glad I got some good sex out of that break, too. Thanks.”

She gasps, mouth dropping open. Then I watch as anger sets in. At my immaturity, maybe. At the fact that I’m acting like an asshole, probably. She narrows one eye and then straightens her shoulders. Rather than stooping to my level, she says, “You’re welcome.”

“Isn’t that what you said?”

“It is but…”

“But, what? You knew from the beginning that it was just about sex. That’s what we both decided. While you were here, we’d enjoy each other and then move on.” I’m just asshole enough to throw in a smirk and swagger as I make my way to her.

“Just about the sex, huh?”

I nod, not being able to say anything else. I hate myself right now. For being this way. Thinking I need to protect myself by tearing her down.

“If you want, I’m willing to give us one more go before you leave tomorrow.”

I never saw the smack coming, though I should have. I deserve it. My head is still turned to the side, my hands shoved in my pockets. And then she spins back around and storms down the path to her cabin.

I want to run after her.

But what would I say?

Sorry that I’m a jerk and I was once again protecting myself? But it’s not really my fault because really, wasn’t it inevitable? That I knew this would happen? The exact thing that I was trying to stop from happening that day in my bedroom when I was talking to Ethan? All of that makes me only sound like an even bigger jerk.

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