Page 1 of I'm Yours

Prologue

Reed - 18 years old

“You know how much I hate it when you talk about yourself like this,” I growl, not allowing myself to look at her, instead squinting my eyes and focusing on the moonlight shining down on the pond in front of us. I grip the edge of the tailgate of my pickup we’re both sitting on. If I do, I’ll want to hold her and she’s made it clear I’m not allowed to do that. At least not in the romantic sense. Sure, she’ll let me hold her hand or drape an arm over her shoulder, as long as it’s friendly. Sadie Jones is everything to me, but she won’t accept what I want to give. Since the first time I laid eyes on her, I knew I wanted her as my girlfriend. But, the most she’s been willing to give is friendship and I’ll take whatever she’s willing to give me.

Her beautiful dark brown eyes have always been haunted from a lifetime of hardness she’s working to overcome. Blonde hair that I’ve never seen her change. Pin straight and down just over her shoulders. I always wonder what she’d look like with it pulled into a ponytail or curled. Shorter or longer. But in a world that’s so often changing on her, it’s one thing she can control. Her mom had moved her and her brother around often. She’d attended eight other schools before they came to Lakeside. Sadie’s friendships were never solid because they didn’t have time to be.

She’s missed out on so many things in her life because her family didn’t have the money for her to participate. The senior ski trip, attending the homecoming dance, or joining our group of friends when we’d buy tickets to a concert. Hell, she doesn’t even have a computer, internet, cable, or her own cell phone. Any extra money they have goes to food or paying bills. There were a few times where she admitted they didn’t have electricity for a few weeks. No hot water.

She didn’t come to our senior prom, despite how many times I begged her to be my date. I wanted to offer to buy her a dress because I knew that was why she refused to go, but I also knew she would be offended if I did. Knowing she wouldn’t be there, I didn’t want to go and told Sadie I wasn’t going, but then her eyes filled with tears and her hands fisted at her sides when she said I was supposed to go, and she’d be mad at me if I didn’t. I have no idea why she cared so much. It made no sense then and it still doesn’t.

So I sucked it up and did what was expected of me — showed up in a tux and accepted my crown as Prom King before sharing a dance with the Prom Queen. The same girl who’d spent the better part of our high school years flirting with me and making it obvious thatshewanted a lot more than friendship, and then I escaped as quickly as I could. Before going home that night, I knocked on her bedroom window and the smile she gave me when she pulled back the curtain made my heart clench. She snuck out her window and I caught her as she jumped into my arms. I held her hand tightly in mine and tugged her behind me and hopped in the car, drove, and wished I could have held her hand the entire way and gave her a prom right where we’re sitting now. The place that I’ve come to consider our spot. We slow danced in an empty field of grass and weeds with trees lining the far side and the mountains just beyond while music played softly through the speakers of my mom’s SUV she let me use for the night. It was perfect, but I still wish I’d have gotten to see her in a pretty dress with her hair up. She deserved that, even if she thought differently.

Sadie shrugs, legs kicking back and forth. She’s sitting on the tailgate of the pickup that my grandparents gave me for high school graduation present a few months ago. It’s not brand new or anything, but the way Sadie reacted when I showed up at her home to take her for a ride, you’d think it was. It also made me feel like a million bucks and like shit at the same time. She was nervous climbing in, kept saying she had never seen such a nice vehicle in all her life and was looking around the small cab in awe. Then she pissed me off when she tried to say that it was too nice “for the likes of her”.

“I know, but I think you forget the truth too often.”

“And your truth isn’t truth at all,” I return hotly.

She sighs and drops her head. Frustrated with me, like usual when I snap at her for thinking I’m too good for her. Or rather, that she’s not good enough for me. In her mind she’s convinced herself that us being friends is, on some level, wrong, as well. It’s an argument we’re well versed in. “Reed…”

I hold up a hand to stop her and she clamps her lips shut. “Just stop, okay? I can’t hear it again. This skewed version you have of yourself.” I know she can hear the anger in my voice but I can’t help it.

Sadie blows out a breath and closes her eyes briefly. When she opens them, I’m so glad that they aren’t filled with tears. “Let’s not fight. Not tonight. I just want to sit here and look at the mountains and feel the cold air on our skin. I just need this. To forget about everything.” She points in the direction of town, indicating home. “Forget about what divides us.”

Irritation pricks at my skin and I want so badly to call her out on mentioning the division again. Instead of telling her she’s wrong, I tell her the ultimate truth. My truth. I turn so I have her attention, her brown eyes colliding with mine. They sparkle with unshed tears. “Sadie, I don’t care that you live in a trailer or that your family is on food stamps.”

“It’s not just that,” she argues weakly.

“It is.” I shake my head, scoffing. “You have this crazy idea that there’s this line that’s drawn just because of how much money our families have but you’re forgetting the most important part.”

We’re both staring out at the incredible landscape around us. I cannot begin to imagine what it would be like to live anywhere but Lakeside, Montana. It has everything that I love most nestled right into this little pocket of paradise. Including Sadie Jones. Flathead Lake alone is enough of a draw and because over sixty years ago my grandfather purchased the ground my family’s summer home now currently sits on, I’m fortunate enough to walk twenty feet to the crystal clear waters whenever I stay there. The lake might be cold most days, but its beauty makes up for it. For me, it’s the perfect place to live. It has everything an outdoorsy guy like me could ask for, and I take advantage of the Big Montana Sky as often as I can. My grandfather was a cattle rancher and my father joined in with him. The plan is for me to go to college, get a degree in business, and come back and continue the tradition. It’s what I want, not what’s expected of me.

“You ready for college?” she asks, shifting the focus from her, or us, to me. She purposely doesn’t acknowledge that I was about to tell her what the most important part is. I want to promise her she’ll never lose me. That no matter what differences she sees between us or space that separates us, I will never leave her side. I will always, no matter what, be there for her. What I feel for her matters more to me than what anyone else on this earth thinks of either of us.

She does this often. Deflects. I hate it. So much so that my fists clench next to my thighs and I feel my hackles rise. Why can’t she see what we could be together?

“No,” I huff.

“Why not?”

Because she’s not joining me and I have no desire to leave here. If I could, I’d stay forever and work at the one gas station in town if it meant that I had her by my side. Of course, she’d have to want more than friendship with me for that to happen. In my mind, it wouldn’t matter if we didn’t have money because we’d have each other and that would be enough. But if I did that, if Isacrificed— her word, not mine — my future for her, she’d never forgive me. She’s told me time and time again that we don’t have a future together.

“A few reasons, I guess.”

She nods, accepting my non-answer. Probably because she’s too afraid to know the truth. I watch as she twists around and stands to move to the center of the bed of my pickup and I know what I’m about to experience. Greatness. “Well, I think it’s dumb. If I could leave, I would. I’d find a way to get to New York and then I’d blow everyone’s minds on Broadway.”

A huge part of me wishes that was possible for her. To achieve her dreams of becoming a professional dancer and show the world what she has to offer.

The selfish part, though? Not so much. I want her here. Safe. Not in the spotlight that would steal her away from me. Where she would catch the attention of a man with more to offer her than me and she’d be lost to me forever.

I turn so I’m facing her, my knees tucked up to my chest and arms wrapped around my knees and I watch as she moves gracefully. Spinning slowly, arms circled above her head, she lifts up on her toes as if it’s second nature. Which for her, it is. She’s seductive without trying to be. I could watch her dance for hours and never tire of it. And the crazy part is, she’s self-taught. Her family never had the money for dance lessons but the local studio opened their doors for anyone in the community one Saturday when she was nine years old. It took one hour for her to fall in love with all forms of dancing and to grasp enough knowledge that she was able to become a beautiful dancer by only practicing in her bedroom.

In high school, she was on the dance team because it was the only way she could use dance as an outlet. The dance team was run completely on fundraisers and donations so anyone could afford it as long as they had talent. And she definitely has talent. She’s so good even the bitchy popular girls who normally turn down their noses at her for not having the money their parents do or the nicest clothes, couldn’t deny how incredible she is. And they don’t, either. They actually cheer her on.

“You could. Leave, I mean. You could, Sadie. Come with me to college. Your grades are good enough to get in. They have financial aid.”

She scoffs. “Right. And how do you suggest I pay for the financial aid once I’ve finished? Hooking?”

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