Page 93 of Never Really Over

When he speaks again, I can hear the emotion in his voice. “Yeah, Tootsie Pop. I’m Daddy.”

Oh yeah, I’m definitely in love with Colt.

I know it to the depths of my soul.

I know we need to give ourselves time to discover each other again, but I can’t deny my feelings. I’m so desperately in love with that man.

Chapter Eighteen

Colt

BetterTogether

Since Mondaywhen Layla and I had our burning party and sorted everything out, things have been moving along at the perfect pace. Her boss, Stan, is in Hollow Grove for the weekend so Poppy and I are heading to Maureen’s house to have dinner with them.

I dressed Poppy in the outfit Layla gave her for her birthday, figuring that she’d like to see it on her. It’s an adorable t-shirt with a goat and a tractor and says ‘I’m the GOAT Farm Girl’. Which is perfect for Poppy. She is definitely the Greatest of All Time Farm Girl. She included a pair of jeans and socks that had goats on them. Now that Poppy is walking, she wears shoes all the time, so I put her in her Nikes, clip her hair back so her curls don’t get in her eyes, and load her into the back of my pickup.

My pickup isn’t the most ideal vehicle for carting her around, but I can’t get myself to use Natalie’s. They were riding in Mason’s car in the accident, and Natalie had a mid-size SUV, but I can’t do it. Instead, it sits in the garage attached to the house I can’t muster up the courage to empty out and sell.

I know I need to before I get too busy with harvest season, and I’m getting closer to feeling ready but need more time.

Just as I’m about to shift my truck into reverse, my phone chimes with a text.

Dalton:What’s shakin’?

Me:Do you ever say anything normal?

Dalton:Nope. Never. It’s all part of my charm.

Me:Whatever you say.

Dalton:So listen. I’m just gonna cut to the chase because that’s who I am. Any thoughts on Natalie’s house? We’re beyond ready to get out of my parents’ house and Bridget said she wanted me to check with you before we started looking.

I blow out a breath. Damn. If this timing couldn’t have been stranger. It makes me wonder if it’s for a reason.

Me:I’m not ready but not sure I’ll ever be. Was just thinking about the house, actually.

Dalton:I don’t want to push you into anything.

Me:I know. Like I said, it’s not really a matter of when or if because I don’t think I’ll ever be, but it probably is time.

Dalton:You sure?

Am I sure? No. Do I need to do this? Yes. Part of being an adult and all that shit. Plus, it’s probably better than me continuing to pay for a house that no one lives in. It’s a great house and deserves a family who will love it. If Bridget and Dalton like the house and buy it, that’ll be easier than putting in on the market.

Me:I’m sure. Fair warning, though. I haven’t been in it since I got more of Poppy’s things, so it’ll need cleaned. Meet me there tomorrow at three. Taking Poppy to church in the morning then she’ll need a nap. We’ll go through the house and make sure it’s what you’re both looking for.

Dalton:No worries about it being cleaned. You’re awesome, man. Thank you for doing this. I know it’s hard so I really appreciate it. We’ll be there.

“Life is hard, Poppy,” I tell her.

“Dada!” she shouts from her rear-facing car seat.

I rub my chest. When she first called me Dada the other night, I almost started crying. It was hard to hear, but she’s right. I’m her daddy now. Not just her daddy, but her only parent — her only family. Mason’s parents call and check in, but they don’t have FaceTime on their phones and since Poppy is only a one-year-old, it’s not as if they can really have many conversations with her. They sent her a gift for her birthday, and I know they’ll come see her when they can, but it’s not like they’ll have a close relationship with her. And it’s not like my parents are suddenly going to have a change of heart and start caring about anyone but themselves.

Mason had a brother but the two of them had such a large age gap, Mason being twelve years younger, that they never were close. Plus, he lives overseas in Europe.

My good mood is quickly vanishing.

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