Page 51 of Strength of Desire

“Ugh.”

I growled at myself and turned the corner to the hallway that led to my room. I started down it. I was tired, and it was time to get some real sleep. I just hoped I wouldn’t dream about that monster again.

I was halfway down the hall when I realized a door was open. Not a door to a bedroom, though. At least, I didn’t think so. I walked closer and pulled it farther open. The door didn’t lead to a bedroom. It led to a dark, narrow staircase.

I stepped back and frowned at the door. It was designed so cunningly that it barely looked like a door at all. The knob, such as it was, was a carved bit of wooden frippery, a tree branch with protruding leaves and blossoms, no different from the carvings that decorated the rest of the wall. How many times had I passed this door in my weeks here at Vesperwood, never knowing it was there? It didn’t look like the kind of door you were supposed to open.

And yet, I found myself peering inside again, wondering where the stairs led. It was easy to get lost in the manor, and now was not the time to go exploring a dark, creepy passageway on my own. And yet…

I stepped inside and let the door swing shut behind me. The latch seemed to be broken—it swung loose again immediately, admitting a few inches of light from the hallway. I was grateful for that light as I began to climb.

The further I got from the hallway below, the more isolated I felt. The staircase was gloomy. It felt like no one had set foot here in centuries. I knew that was unlikely, but still, that was how it felt. Like I was traipsing through some castle that had been trapped in time. Like I might end up in a different land.

Two flights up, a small window offered me a peek out on the steep angles of the roofs above the fourth floor. But the stairway kept going up, and so did I, until I reached a door at the top.

Stomach fluttering, unsure of what I would find, I pushed the door open and stepped out into a wonderland. I was on top of the manor, above the peaked roofs, even with the bell tower. Chimneys stuck up all around me like trees in a forest of brick and stone. The roofs slanted away on either side, and everything was coated in a thin dusting of snow. More flakes swirled in the air in front of me.

A narrow path ran along the top line of the roof below me, leading out into that charmed world of stalagmites and snow. Knowing it was foolish, I stepped onto it. I held my arms out to either side. If I’d had any doubt, this afternoon had rubbed in just how bad my balance was. But something had a hold of me. I needed to be in the center of this world, needed to see it all around me.

Snowflakes landed and melted on my fingers. One attached to an eyelash, then fell away and left a damp spot on my cheek. It was so quiet up here. It was just me and the wind, and far away, the sound of Lake Superior crashing on the shore.

Back when Noah had set our Combat class to running every day, I’d seen the jagged shards of ice sheets, broken and pushed up against the edge of the lake. Up here, I felt like I could step off the roof and fly over to the lake to see them from above.

But that was ridiculous. It was the kind of thing you dreamt about, not the kind of thing that happened in reality. I shook my head slowly, trying to clear the vision. I needed to keep my head on straight when I was up here.

The narrow path I was on forked at different places as the roofs broke and scattered in different directions. I chose my path randomly, just following where my feet took me. Not wanting to fall, my eyes were on the walkway when I turned around another chimney. When I lifted them, I sucked in a sharp, cold breath of air.

Noah was sitting on the roof, not ten feet from me, leaning back against a chimney.

And he was jerking off.

His eyes were closed, and the wind carried the sound of my gasp away, thank God. My mouth opened in surprise—and desire. Was I really seeing this?

I put my hand on the chimney to steady myself. I blinked and shook my head. The light wasn’t the greatest up here, but it wasn’t dark enough to obscure my vision entirely. Noah’s hand was at his waist, and it was moving up and down on—

Oh, fuck. I’d done my level best to forget what Noah’s cock looked like. I knew I’d never see it again, and I didn’t want it haunting me. Taunting me. But the universe had other plans.

Not that I’d needed the reminder, I realized as I stared at him. My subconscious had remembered perfectly just how long and fat and hard he—

What the fuck? I blinked again. I wasnotthinking about Noah’s cock. I wasn’t. That was just pathetic. He clearly didn’t want me, so it didn’t matter that I could see the head of his cock sticking out between his fingers, practically pulsing, drawing me in.

But no. This wasn’t just pathetic, this was wrong. This was spying. Spying on Noah, doing something intimate and vulnerable. His head was tipped back, and he was muttering something too soft for me to hear. Probably thinking about some super hot firefighter or jacked Navy Seal. Or maybe that greasy guy from the Balsam Inn.

But not me.

Rage and desire and desperation welled up in me, and I whirled around, unable to stand it a minute longer. Unfortunately, in my haste to leave, my foot slid against one of the slate tiles and it came loose, clattering and skidding down the roof before falling over the edge.

I turned in a panic, and my stomach sank as I saw Noah staring at me.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he said, already tucking himself away and standing up.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I babbled. “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. I’ll go.”

“Were you following me?” He stalked towards me along the narrow path. “Were you watching me?”

“No, I swear.” I winced, knowing that wasn’t exactly true. “Well, only for a second. But I knew it was wrong, and I was trying to leave, Iamtrying to leave, I’ll leave right now.”

“No you won’t.”

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