Page 152 of Double Fault

“Yeah, she will,” Sabrina sniffles. “She’s going to think I abandoned her.”

“She won’t.” I grasp her wrists and squeeze. “I won’t let her. The two of you can FaceTime any time you want. I may be an asshole, but do you think I’d break my daughter’s heart like that?”

Lips turned down, she picks at an invisible speck on the sheet in front of her. “I don’t know about this.”

“Give it a chance. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t try.”

She nods, inhaling slowly to get her emotions under control.

“I’m doing this because I love you.” I press my lips to hers. “I don’t want to hold you back.”

Her fingers thread in the hair at my nape. “I love you,” she echoes.

We sink beneath the covers, hands exploring, lips connected with a desperation I’ve never felt before.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

The words echo between us over and over again, and when I sink inside her, I make sure to show her just how deep that love goes.

And when she falls asleep, I do the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a long time. I pull out my phone and purchase a single plane ticket in her name.

CHAPTER 38

SABRINA

I want to throw up.

I don’t want to do the mature thing. I don’t want to have to be the grown-up. I want someone else to tell Maddie I’m leaving. It’s going to kill me to break her heart.

If I pleaded enough, I think Noah would give in, but in my heart, I know he’s right. Deep down, I want the job. If I don’t take it, I’ll always wonder.

Maddie bursts into the room, oblivious to the way I’m falling apart on the inside. Oblivious to the devastation on her father’s face.

It’s like I’m being torn in two.

Nothing about this feels right, but if I want a real future with Noah, then I need to be my own person. I can’t just be his nanny forever.

“Hey, princess.” He scoops his daughter up and peppers her face with kisses.

Fisher sets Maddie’s bag on the bed, and when he looks at me, his eyes widen. “What’s going on?”

It takes all my strength not to burst into tears.

Maddie lost her mom, but Annie didn’t have a choice. She had to go. I’mchoosingto leave, and that seems so much worse.

Noah sets his little girl on her feet again and eyes his best friend. “You should stay for this.”

Fisher’s eyes dart between us, his face a mask of concern. He thinks that our fling has ended and I’ve quit. A part of me wishes it were that. It would be a hell of a lot easier than the reality of loving Noah so much that I have to step away and be my own person without them.

Noah guides Maddie over to the bed and helps her settle on the edge. Then he squats in front of her, hands clasped. “Mads, Sabrina and I have something to talk to you about.”

Maddie’s eyes widen with excitement. “Is Sabrina pregnant? Am I going to be a big sister?”

It’s like a knife to the heart. Nothing could’ve prepared me for that line of thinking.

“No.” Noah shakes his head, his expression faltering for an instant. “Sabrina’s not having a baby. She’s… well, she’s going back to the States.”

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