Page 14 of Mr. Swoony

“Make him take you,” he says, interrupting my thoughts.

I don’t respond immediately because I’m unsure how.

“He’s not a bad guy,” I finally murmur.

His hand covers mine. It’s not meant to be sexual or intimate but comforting.

“You don’t have to stick up for your decision to marry him.” His voice is also low, as if he’s afraid to speak too loudly for fear someone will overhear, and tonight is a secret only we share.

“I just don’t want you to leave tonight thinking…”

“That I missed out?”

I suck in a deep breath. “Don’t go there, Conor.” I straighten and lean forward, putting my head in my hands.

“I’m not. But I’d be lying if I told you anything other than the more time I spend with you tonight, the more I wish I had met you first.”

I peek at him out of the corner of my eye. “Why now?” I stand and walk closer to the water.

“Why now what?” he asks, joining me, his shoulder brushing mine.

“Why am I meeting you now? A week before my wedding. I’m not supposed to feel a pull to someone else. I’m in a committed relationship.” My voice wobbles.

“I don’t know.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “I don’t believe in love at first sight.”

“Neither do I.”

“We don’t even really know each other,” he says. “Maybe it’s just hormones.”

I turn to face him and stare into his eyes. “Do you believe that? That it’s just a physical attraction?” I can’t tell if I’m hoping he’ll say yes or no. My head is so messed up.

His chest rises and falls with a deep breath. “I am attracted to you.”

“But?”

He sighs, and his vision strays to the water before returning to me. “It’s more.”

I suck in a breath and close my eyes because he’s right, it is. “If I truly loved Tristan, I shouldn’t be open to feeling this way for someone else, right? Especially after one night. That’s crazy.”

“Maybe we’re meant to be best friends.” He shrugs, knowing it’s not the truth. There’s an unexplained chemistry between us that’s impossible to deny.

“I’m not this person. Yeah, I’m sure people always say that, but I’m really not. Most of the time, I do as I’m asked, what I should be doing, and I never rock the boat. I want people to be happy. I shouldn’t be stargazing with a guy I met the night of my bachelorette party.”

“You overthink what you should and shouldn’t do.” He steps away from me. It’s the first time he’s pulled away from me all night, and I don’t like it. “Live life for yourself, Eloise. What do you want?”

I throw my hands in the air. “Is that your way of getting me to cross the line between us? Because I can’t act on whatever this thing is between us.”

He nods. “I know. I do, but fuck…” His head rocks back, and he stares at the sky. “I don’t want to kiss you.” He sounds like he’s saying it more to himself than me, but I react anyway.

“You don’t?” Disappointment shouldn’t be seeping into my bones.

“I wouldn’t be able to do it, knowing you’ll return to him.”

“God, Conor, what are we doing?” I wrap my arms around my chest. “I don’t even know you.”

“I meant what I said. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I don’t want to say good night. I want to talk to you all night and learn more about you, even though it somehow feels like I’ve known you for years. I’ve never felt this before, and I’m trying to navigate these new feelings, but I feel lost in the middle of the woods without a compass.”

I go back to the bench and sit down. “We should walk away now.”

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