"Don't sound so surprised."
"Um." He lifts up the piece of paper. "You just declared war on me."
Oh, that's right. I did. "Glad you remember," I say, giving Chewy a quick pat before turning on my heel and marching back to my place. "Prepare to go down, Hume!" I call out over my shoulder. "Prepare to go down!"
"This is thoughtful but also slightly weird," Schapelle says, taking in the chaos playing out in my backyard.
The scent of fresh hay and warm fur fills the air, along with sounds of soft bleats and clucking. A pair of goats trot around playfully, chickens peck in the grass, and one of two miniature horses clip-clops with a child riding it.
I smile at my twin sister as I cradle her newborn in my arms. "What?" I reply innocently. "Why wait until Willow turns one to throw her a petting zoo party? You can never start too early, right?"
Schapelle eyes me wearily. "Are you getting enough sleep, Ten?"
"Actually, I'm not." I look across the fence and smile wickedly. Is throwing a children's party at six o'clock in the morning a polite and considerate neighborly thing to do? Of course it isn't…And that's exactly the point. If Hume wants to wake me up late at night, I'm going to give him a taste of his own medicine by walking him up early on the one day he doesn’t leave for work in the morning. "Hey, Freddy!" I yell out to the DJ I hired to spin some tunes for these tots. "Let's get some music cranking."
"On it!" he calls back, and a few seconds later, "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" filters through the speakers I've set up all around the yard, includingallllalong the fence line.
"And who are all these kids?" Brock, Schapelle's husband, asks. "You didn't hire them as well as the animals, did you?"
I laugh. "No. I invited everyone who works at the lodge and their families. Thought it'd be a nice way for us to get to know each other outside of work."
"What the heck is going on here?" A deep, angry sounding voice cuts through all the noise.
"Ooh. It's go time." I hand my niece back to Schapelle. "Grab some popcorn," I say to my sister and brother-in-law. "Because you're about to witness an epic smackdown."
I stride over to the fence line confidently. A gust of wind catches my hair, and for a moment, I'm not a thirty-year old woman in the midst of a self-initiated prank war with her smoldering hot mountain man neighbor, I'm freaking Beyoncé at the Superbowl.
"Morning, Hume." I throw my hand back elegantly over my shoulder and smile. "Welcome to my niece's party."
Hume does not look impressed. His hair juts out every which way, and he's bleary-eyed, like he's just been torn out of bed by this racket I'm making. He's also shirtless, and I am giving myself a strict, three-second ceasefire to take in his sculpted muscles and chiseled abs—three, two, one—before reverting back into fighting mode.
"Do you know what time it is?" he grits out.
I glance at my watch and reply sweetly, "It's six fifteen."
"Exactly.On a Sunday."
"Well done for naming the day correctly. Would you like a prize? I have push-along cars, teething rings, or a cute assortment of sippy cups. You can have first dibs."
His jaw clenches as he lets out a deep, grumbly sound that, inanothercontext, would send pleasurable tingles through me, but in this context, I'll have to settle for tingles of satisfaction.
Round one goes to me.
"This isn't over," he growls, his blue-gray eyes boring into me, as if he's privy to my internal gloating, and it's only making him madder. "I wasn't sure you really wanted a war, but now that I know you do, it's game on,sweetheart."
"Get your own catchphrase," I reply smugly, rocking on my feet. "And bring it on." Oh, hello, what do we have here? Seems my inner-Bey is back. I snap my fingers and declare, "Let me see what you can do,baby."
4
Hume
"Cannonball!" Reece yells out before jumping as high as he can and crashing into the water, sending waves in every direction.
When he resurfaces, Drew yells out, "Nice one, son, but next time, less yelling."
"No, no, no," I chime in, handing Drew another beer. "Be as loud as you want," I yell out to Reece who's swimming to the edge of my pool. I clink my beer bottle against Drew's. "Teenagers need to be free to express themselves. However loudly they want to. It's good for their development."
Drew stares at me like I've lost my mind. "How many beers have you had?"