Page 72 of Delirium

SCARLETT

James was kissing me.Jameswas kissingme. Not as an alternative to the situation, or a distraction. He was kissing me because he wanted me, which was all I’d ever asked for.

The rain that had been taunting us for days was pouring, soaking me to the bone, but all I could feel were James’ strong hands wrapped around my back, and his lips pressing into mine, demanding, bruising, taking.

He pulled away from me for just a moment, staring at me. “I thought you were hurt. I heard you scream.”

I brushed my hand against his sharp cheekbone. “I’m fine. I was sleeping. You can’t trust your senses.”

“I know.” He shook his head, eyes pulling over me once more in a way that felt a thousand times more intimate than his touch. “I’m sorry.”

“For waking me up? I was barely sleeping anyway.”

James shook his head. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see what was standing right in front of me. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how hard I was fighting against it. I’m sorry I almost let this pass me by.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I had some sense shaken into me.”

Nash. I’d thank him later. Maybe when we weren’t about to start a harrowing trek. “There’s nothing to apologize for. You’re here now.”

“And you want this? Want me?” He dropped me with one hand, wiping the rain away from his eyes. “I’m not like them, Scarlett. I’m not a good person. I’m not warm and comforting. I’m not the first person you think of when you need reassurance. I’m cold and resentful, and…”

“Strong and unyielding. You’re a rock, James. You’re just using the wrong words to describe yourself.”

“Fuck,” he muttered. “Fuck me.”

“What? What’s wrong?” I pulled his face up so I could look at him, his icy blue eyes staring into my soul.

“I’ve never let myself want something before. Not like this. But I want you, Scarlett. Fuck, I want you more than I should. I want you in ways I shouldn’t even think about. I want you, and I never want to fucking let you go.” His chest heaved with his confession, but I could see the bits of insecurity lingering in his gaze.

I stood up on my tiptoes to press my lips to his. “So don’t.”

James closed his eyes. When he opened them again, there was something set in his expression. “This better be fucking real this time.”

I would’ve laughed had he not immediately tangled his fingers into my hair, pulling me close, kissing me so deeply that any semblance of humor was gone. All his fears and doubts were washing away, between the rain, disappearing into the microscopic space between us.

His hands drifted lower, slipping beneath my shirt, creeping up my skin. I sighed with relief. This was all I had wanted. To feel like this was enough for him

ThatIwas enough for him.

And now that I had it, I wanted more.

I pulled his face back to me, needing to feel his lips on mine once more.

James pulled away, tugging me down to the wet deck with him. It could’ve been covered in mud and I wouldn’t have cared. Except for one nagging thought.

I sat atop him, a leg on either side, and pulled back. “You still with me? This still feel real?”

“Way too real,” he groaned. “Real enough to kill me if you don’t come down here and kiss me again.”

I smiled, leaning down to kiss him, our bodies pressed against each other. He groaned, rolling his hips against me, and my eyes flew open.

“You forgot to mention your size,” I whispered against his mouth, equal parts terrified and excited. Camp and Nash had broadened my horizons, butthatwas still new. “Are you sure it’s going to work?”

James laughed against me, tugging my hair lightly. “It already did once, I don’t see why it wouldn’t again.”

We both froze, looking at each other. Because ithadn’talready happened once. At least for both of us.

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