Page 55 of Choosing Skyler

I’m not sure what’s real and what’s not anymore. When I first broke the tether, I could still see and hear everything around me. I just chose not to respond. But I let myself drift until I was truly lost. Now, I don’t know if I could find my way back at all. I used to be invisible to everyone around me. Now, I’m invisible tome. I don’t know where I am or even if I’m awake or asleep.

I occasionally “wake up” and hear people talking to me. They still include me in every conversation like I’ve been here the whole time, but there’s a sadness to their voices that doesn’t always match the conversation. I want to make them feel better, but I can’t.It’s better if they just let me go.Whywon’t they let me go?

“I’m right here, Beautiful. I’m not going anywhere. Ineedyou too.”

Brady...

“Ichooseyou.”

You won’t always.

“Iloveyou!”

I love you too. That’s why I’m letting you go.

“Iseeyou.”

How?Ican’t see me anymore.

I’ve been drifting in the cold, but now I’m floating. It’s warm and it feels good—safe.I think I want to stay here.

Another time, it’s Devon I hear first.

“Are you kidding me with this shit?! Look at this stupid display Joey set up for the new racing game. Tracey took a picture and sent it to me,” Devon snaps.

“It looks like a racecar. It’s actually pretty badass, man. You just don’t like it because it was Joey’s idea,” Brady says.

Brady…

“Bullshit! It looks like a racecar, my ass. It looks like one of those peddle cars fromLittle Rascals. Look, Skyler. Tell Brady this is a garbage display.” Devon scoffs.

Of course, I don’t reply, but then his phone is dropped into my lap, so I see the picture on the screen.

It is badass. Brady is right.

“See? Skyler agrees with me.” Devon laughs and it’s a real laugh. Not the fake one I’ve been hearing for however long I’ve been drifting in and out.

“Nah, my girl has better taste than that. She knows it’s badass.” Brady huffs.

Yep. Sorry, Devon.

“What was Tracey doing at Gamer Haven anyways? Visiting Joey?” Brady asks with a chuckle.

Low blow.

“She better fucking not be! He’s off today,” Devon exclaims.

Who are you jealous of, Devon? Tracey or Joey?

“What’s the problem with Tracey visiting Joey? Her with him—or him with her? Oh, no, wait. Don’t tell me. It’sthemtogether without you in the middle, right?” Brady laughs.

Exactly what I was thinking.

“Fuck you, man!” Devon snaps. “Never gonna happen.”

Never say never.

“Never say never,” Brady says at the same time I think it. “You gonna let him talk to me like that, Beautiful?” Brady asks.

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