Page 53 of Rake

Of all the people to be saying this to. I feel ashamed for the first time since I can remember.

“I’ll keep you safe. At least until morning.”

I wish I could help her, but I can’t. I tried in the ways available to me, but she didn’t want anything I had to offer. But tonight I can hold her. Protect her from bad dreams, or at least soothe her after them.

She settles against my chest, and I wrap my arms around her. Seducing Sasha had seemed like such a good idea when Patrick had suggested it, but I didn’t count on Sasha’s ridiculous integrity.

Or how I’d be so compelled by it.

I didn’t count on how good it’d feel being gloved by her body, her sweet voice whimpering my name as I brought her pleasure.

I didn’t plan on her intelligence and her wisdom.

Or her kindness.

That possessive fire surges through me again. I press my cheek against her soft hair, my body fully surrounding hers now. She sighs in her sleep.

Just tonight. Tomorrow we’re both on our own again. The world is a hard place, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.

Nothing at all.

15

Sasha

Finn’s still sleeping when I leave. It’s time to go home and change before work, and it’s a challenge finding all my clothes in the dim light. I consider leaving my panties in Finn’s pocket as a little reminder of what could’ve been, but those were expensive so I fish them out and stuff them in my bag.

I give him one final look.

He threw off most of the blanket sometime during the night, and it rests just across his hips. One of his arms is tossed casually over his head, the other draped where I was sleeping. I wouldn’t call him serene, not even in sleep, but I’m not one to throw stones about that.

His thick hair is wild and messy, and I need to go before I run my hands through it, waking him up for another round of what I imagine would be incredible sex.

Better to keep that to one night only. It’s why I don’t kiss him goodbye. No reason to be sentimental, even though my heart aches to leave things so casual. I care about this man, even though I shouldn’t. I’m sure his road ahead won’t be easy either.

I can be a real fool sometimes.

I sneak out as quietly as possible, and don’t think I wake him. I hope I don’t run into anyone on staff that I know.

What a first-time walk of shame, Sasha.

I’m relieved to be out of the casino and heading toward the bus stop when I hear someone call my name. I freeze in my tracks.

Fuck.

“Miss Saunders.”

I should just keep going, but I pride myself on not being a coward. Even when I want to be.

“Mr. Carney.” He’s holding a travel mug and is dressed like he rolled out of some family drama from the fifties—greatcoat, trilby hat and all.

He clicks his tongue at me. “I expected better from you than sleeping with my son. He’s got a bit of a reputation as a ladies’ man, but he’s definitely the love them and leave them type.”

Whatever Carney has planned for me can’t be more humiliating than this.

I won’t let him see me sweat.

“So am I, Mr. Carney.”

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