Page 42 of Saving You

‘The old, hot one or the one with the little Deaf girl?’

‘Deaf girl,’ Oz said. He felt his ears start to burn. ‘He was right there, and…I kissed him.’

Myles blinked rapidly a couple of times. ‘I’m with you all the way, but do you think that might be a little homophobic?’

Oz felt like he’d been hit in the sternum. ‘Is it?’

Myles grimaced and shrugged. ‘Like straight college girls making out at parties to get guys hot.’

Oh shit. Oz realized he wasn’t as obvious as he was afraid he was being. His cheeks bloomed bright red, and he licked his lips. ‘No. I’m bi.’ The moment his fingers twisted through the letters, he began to laugh. It was a high, nervous, terrified laugh. He’d done it again. He’d told someone again. How was it not any easier? ‘Sorry, sorry,’ he circled his fist over his chest.

Myles looked worried now. He waved his hand. ‘Hey. Breathe. In and out. In and out.’

Was he—oh. No. He wasn’t really breathing. He was kind of gasping. He sucked in air and held it for a few seconds before letting it out in a slow exhale.

‘Have you ever come out before?’

Oz shook his head, then stopped, then nodded. ‘I told Ridge after I kissed him. But no one else knows.’

‘So, was that your first kiss with another man?’

Oz wanted to crawl under the table and sink into the floor. ‘Yes.’

‘Please don’t be upset,’ Myles signed quickly. He gripped the seat of his chair and yanked it until he was close enough their knees were touching. It let them sign between their bodies, hidden from the rest of the room. ‘I didn’t mean to force you to tell me.’

Oz’s eyes widened, and he shook his head quickly. ‘No. I wanted to tell someone.’ And yeah, that was definitely the truth. He felt sick from nerves, but the relief was enough to eclipse all the anxiety. Or, well, most of it. ‘I’ve known for a while, but I was scared to come out. My parents already refuse to accept that I’m Deaf. I knew they’d never be okay if I liked men too.’

Myles’s expression fell. ‘I know how that feels. My parents eventually came around, and they’re good with me now, but they’re deep Black Southern Baptists. They didn’t like the fact that I wanted long hair and got into hip-hop dancing in high school. When they found out I was pansexual, they lost it.’

Oz flinched. ‘How bad was it?’

Myles laughed and shook his head. ‘Obviously not as bad as what your parents put you through. There were a lot of difficult Sunday dinner conversations and my mom trying to reason it away with calling it a phase. But one day, she met Anish, and she realized I was happy. Like, really happy.’

Oz blinked at him. ‘Anish? PE Anish?’ He glanced around the room until he saw the PE teacher—a very tall, very muscularman with short, black, wavy hair, light brown skin, and a face that always looked like he was on the verge of laughing.

How did Oz not know this?

‘You didn’t know he and I were married?’

Married? Oh my God, he’d been living with his head in the sand. He was so embarrassed. He covered his face and bowed his head for a few beats before forcing himself to look up.

‘I’m so self-absorbed.’

Myles smiled softly and shook his head. ‘You obviously have a lot going on. Too much.’

Oz couldn’t argue there. ‘I should be a better friend.’

‘You still have time,’ Myles told him with another laugh. He grabbed his shoulders and gently shook him. ‘Tell me about this guy.’

Oz wanted to swallow his own tongue and choke to death so he could get out of this conversation. ‘Not much to tell. He’s a single dad—adopted his daughter when she was a baby. He’s a firefighter, and he hangs out with a group of other queer dads.’

‘So he’s not straight?’

Oz shook his head. ‘Definitely not.’

‘And he has a Deaf kid.’

That made Oz smile. He really liked Ina. She was such a clever, funny little thing. He’d never thought about having kids, but if he did, he hoped they’d be like her. ‘Yeah. They have a sign-first home, which…’ He shrugged.Fist-kiss.

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