Page 62 of Saving You

‘No,’ Ridge signed, lifting one hand but not making space between them to sign. ‘Only you.’

Oz started to shake his head, but he stopped when Ridge’s hand pressed against his jaw.

‘Only you,’ he mouthed.

It was now or never. And damn it, maybe it was time for him to stop assuming the worst and start believing that maybe he deserved to have this. Maybe that ugly voice inside his head told only lies.

He looked up at Ridge and fought the urge to beg him to prove it because that wasn’t fair. Ridge had only ever been kind and honest. Even if he’d held back his feelings in words, he hadn’t held them back in the way he treated Oz. Or the way he held him, or kissed him, or spoiled him.

Even when he’d made Oz beg for it, he’d been giving Oz what he secretly craved.

Ridge stroked another touch along his jaw, then down his neck before signing, ‘If you want me to stop, I will. I can go?—’

“No,” he said aloud, frantic. “No. Don’t leave me. Please.”

Ridge wrapped an arm tightly around him. ‘Okay. I’m staying. But can we leave the bathroom?’

Oh. Right. They were still standing three feet away from a damn toilet. He glanced behind him, then burst into laughter so hard it almost took him out at the knees. He felt Ridge’s rumble against him as he was tugged out of the small room, down the hall, then back to the bedroom.

Christ, it had to be after midnight. He was going to be a wreck tomorrow, and he wasn’t sure that was fair to his kids. He should hop on the school portal and request a sub. There were a bunch of interpreters in town who were on the call list for subs at the school, so it wasn’t like he’d leave the kids out in the wind with some unqualified temp, but…

What did that make him if he did this?

Weak?

‘You look upset. What are you thinking?’ Ridge asked as he tugged Oz to the sheets.

Oz squirmed, restless and unsure. There was too much to talk about, and there was no way in hell he could get it all done in the span of a few hours while also having time to sleep. ‘Would you think less of me if I called out to work tomorrow?’

Ridge’s lips twitched, but then his face fell. ‘That’s a serious question, isn’t it?’

Oz flushed and stared down at his lap as he nodded. When he looked up again, Ridge looked sad. ‘Sorry. I know it’s pathetic?—’

‘Stop.’ Ridge took another deep breath, his inhale so intense it rocked his entire body. ‘I want to ask you a question, but I don’t want it to hurt your feelings.’

Oz was terrified now, but he nodded. ‘Ask.’

‘Have you ever thought about therapy?’

At that, Oz burst into laughter again. He and therapy were old friends. He hadn’t been in a while, but he wasn’t afraid ofit. And he knew immediately that Ridge was right. He couldn’t handle this on his own. He needed help pulling himself out of the hole his family had helped him dig. He needed to find his own self-worth if he was going to actually be a decent partner for this man.

Assuming that this was still on the table now that Ridge saw what a sorry state his mental health was in.

‘I’ve been in therapy. Not recently, and yeah, I think I need to make a call and go back.’

‘Ina’s office sees adults too. There are Deaf therapists there, and everyone at that practice is fluent in ASL,’ Ridge told him.

Oz jolted. He assumed he’d go see his last one, but she was hearing. She knew some conversational sign and seemed knowledgeable in Deaf culture and the struggles of Deaf kids born to hearing parents. But to have someone truly understand him?

‘I’d like that.’

Ridge’s smile bloomed bright as the sun, and he sagged back against the headboard. ‘Okay!’

Oz laughed again and gave in to his urge to drop into Ridge’s arms and be held for a moment. They still needed to talk. He needed to know what this was—and what it could be. He needed to jump on his work portal and sign up for a sub because yeah, fuck it. Self-care was a thing, and he deserved a little bit of it.

But for now, he would be a little selfish and take all the comfort Ridge was offering.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

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