Page 18 of My Promise To Keep

I reached out and took her hand on the couch between us, lacing my fingers with hers.

‘I missed you.’

‘I missed you, too.’

We talked for a bit — about the shop and the bar, generally catching up. Then, when she released my hand and turned her body towards mine, I immediately worried about what she was going to say. I knew her. I knew her looks, and I knew when she had something serious to say, she would always take a breath first, just like she was now.

‘What is it, munch?’

She swallowed and raised her gaze up to mine.

‘Okay, I need to talk to you about something, but I don’t know how you’re going to react.’

‘Go on.’ I was nervous. Part of me was worried, part excited — was she ready to test this connection between us?

‘I think.’ Another breath. ‘I might be ready to start dating.’ Oh. I adjusted my position, turning to face her. ‘I mean, I don’t know, and I feel kind of sick about it, but I don’t want to be alone forever, and I promised him, you know?’ I nodded, unable to speak as my heart raced in my chest. ‘I guess I just, I want you to be on board. I don’t want you to hate me for moving on.’

Ah, she didn’t mean with me.

My breathing stopped for a moment as the weight of that realization sank in. I knew, despite my promise to Luke, that Zoe and I wouldn’t happen, couldn’t happen, but something in me still hoped.

‘I would never hate you, munch. It’s a good thing that you’re ready.’

I took her hand again, and she laughed.

‘I mean, I say that I might be ready, but the panic in my chest tells me otherwise.’

‘What are you worried about?’

‘I’ve never been on a real date.’

I took a breath, then pulled her to me. She rested her head on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around hers.

‘We were kids, you know, so we didn’t date, and then when we dated as a couple, that was different because we knew everything about each other — we were already there. A first date with a guy I don’t know… I have no idea what to do, what to say.’

‘You just need to be yourself, Zo.’

I heard her take a deep inhale, then blow it out, and I considered how she must feel. She was with Luke from puberty to her mid-twenties. Now she was thirty, widowed for six years, and about to think about trying to meet a man for the first time in her life.

‘Do you date?’

Her question threw me. I wasn’t expecting it.

‘Um, not really, not often.’

She sat up and turned to face me.

‘So, you just meet women in bars and spend a night with them.’

‘Zo,’ I groaned. We were friends, but I didn’t want to talk about hookups with her.

‘I just don’t know how it works. How you talk to somebody and end up in bed with them.’

‘Are you looking to end up in bed with somebody?’

‘Well, eventually,’ she said quickly, and I felt my nostrils flare.

I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them to find her twisting the bottom of my t-shirt in her fingers. She really was worried about this.

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