“You have to go slowly, or you’ll fall,” I say, holding onto her hand and slowly gliding backwards. After a couple of steps, she slips, but I catch her before she hits the ice. I pick her up, and she wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. My chest tightens as I hold her close to me. The smell of her strawberry shampoo fills my nose as her blonde hair tickles my cheek.
“You want to go for a spin?” I ask.
She nods, and I skate along the boards, slowly picking up speed. She giggles and squeals the faster I go. The smile that’s spread across her face lights up all her features, and I’m speechless. Seeing this little girl this happy and carefree because of something so simple I’ve done. If I were to go today, at least I’ve done something good in this life.
After we finish a lap, I exit at the same place we entered. I put her down, and she hugs me tightly.
“Thank you, Caleb,” she whispers, and I melt. I never thought I’d be this soft for a kid, but she’s got me and it’s only been two weeks.
“You’re welcome,” I croak.
I look up and see Bailey leaning against the wall, watching us. I can’t read her expression, but it looks like it’s something between pain and longing. I want to pull her into my arms and tell her everything will be alright.
“I’ve got to shower and change. You guys sticking around or heading home?” I ask Bailey.
Bailey pulls out her phone, checking the time. “We’ve got to get home. This one has to get to bed for school tomorrow. Thank you for taking her on the ice.”
“Anytime. It was nice seeing you. Have a good night.” I look down at Charlie and run my hand over her head. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
She waves at me as I move to the dressing room, walking backwards for as long as I can so I can continue to watch them. I push the door open and see half the guys have already finished their showers and the other half are lounging around drinking. Josh walks out of the shower as I take a seat.
“She’s cute,” he comments as he takes a seat a couple of spots down from me.
I smile to myself. “Yeah, she is.”
“Are you going to stick around? Seems like she’s getting attached.” Josh’s question has me stiffening. I can’t let Charlie get attached. I’m not her dad, and her getting attached to me can only lead to disappointment.
“It’s nothing. Olivia is the one who invited them. I haven’t seen either of them since lunch on Monday.”
I feel Josh’s assessing stare. It makes me uneasy, especially since he’s not usually this analytical. He’s observant, but I don’t usually get peppered with questions.
“I don’t know man, just make sure she doesn’t get too attached if you don’t plan on sticking around. The way she’s clung to you so quickly makes me think she lacks a male figure in her life.”
That hits hard. I know what it’s like to grow up without a father, and I know Charlie’s father is not the best or most reliable person. I just nod and get undressed, calling “bye” to him as he leaves the dressing room to find his wife. I’m the last person out of the shower and I take my time getting dressed, allowing Josh’s warning to really sink in.
I have to keep my distance from Bailey and Charlie if I’m not certain I can commit to being a constant in their lives.
CHAPTER 6
Bailey
The entire drive home, Charlie talks about how cool it was to watch the game and how much fun she had skating with Caleb. The absolute joy in her voice has me grinning.
Charlie has never been a sad or unhappy kid, but I can’t remember ever hearing her this happy. It makes me happy to hear her like this, but it also has me questioning where I’ve failed as her mother. Why is she not this happy at home?
I know not having her dad around is not easy on her. Derek didn’t come around a lot during the separation, so Charlie didn’t see her dad often. By the time the divorce was finalized, she was beginning to adjust to our new normal. He’s been making an effort to be around more, saying he wants to use his court-mandated visitation. But rather than spending time with Charlie, he’s been using this time to try to win me back. He still doesn’t understand there is no way we’re getting back together.
By the time we get home, Charlie is exhausted. After a quick shower, she gets ready for bed. I don’t even make it through half a book before she’s fast asleep.
Sneaking out of her bedroom, I quietly close her door and move to my bedroom, where I shower and climb into bed. The cool sheets feel smooth against my skin.
My mind wanders back to the game and watching Caleb skate along the ice. Watching him with Charlie, his pure strength when he hit other players into the boards, the power of his legs as he pushed himself to fly across the ice.
My hand slides down my body, slowly over my stomach, to the tops of my thighs. I slowly run a finger through my folds, feeling just how wet I am picturing him from tonight. I flick my finger over my clit, and a jolt moves through my body, forcing a groan up my throat. I have to bite my bottom lip. I continue to slowly work myself, building my release until I’m wound so tight my toes are curled and my body arches off the bed.
Images of what I think he looks like under all that hockey gear have me exploding. I turn my face into my pillow, muffling the moan that tears through me as I come. I work to catch my breath after having the best orgasm I’ve ever had.