Page 28 of Saving You

“Caleb, can you help me make my taco?” she asks, and he reaches over, grabs a shell, and makes it in the exact order she says the ingredients. He watches as she takes a large bite of her taco, stuff falling out of it and all over her plate. She smiles at both of us as she continues to eat.

“So, did your mom tell you we’re going skating on Friday?” he asks.

Charlie’s eyes widen comically. “We are?”

“Yup, I’m going to teach you how to skate. Then we can go and have dinner.”

Charlie does a little dance in her seat, causing more of her taco to fall apart on her plate. I take in how happy she is. Before these last few weeks, I can’t remember the last time she was this happy and carefree. She wasn’t closed off after Derek left, but she felt the changes in the house. And I know that although she’s seen the hurt he’s caused me, she misses her dad. That male role model in her life. It’s been difficult knowing I can’t be everything for her; I’ve tried my hardest to make sure she knows she’s loved and safe with me, but one person can’t fully take on the role of two.

Charlie talks about how excited she is to go skating and what she’s going to wear.

“Mommy, can you skate?”

Her question pulls me from my thoughts, and I shake my head quickly as I come back to the present.

“I haven’t tried in a long time,” I say, not wanting to admit I look like an elephant trying to walk on ice when I get out there. I was hoping to stand on the sidelines and watch Caleb teach Charlie.

Caleb arches a brow. “Bails, are you saying you can’t skate?” Humour fills his voice.

“Not exactly. I can push myself along the boards. That’s about it.”

He grins. “Guess I’m teaching both you girls.”

Caleb tells us about how his dad taught him to skate when he was a kid and how much he loved it and how that lead to him playing hockey. Charlie and I are both on the edges of our seats, listening to everything he says, but for different reasons. This is now something she can have in common with Caleb, a male role model teaching them to skate. But for me, it’s that I want to know everything about this man. I want to know what makes him tick, what makes him sad, angry, and happy. What are his favourite things in life? What’s his favourite colour? His favourite season? I can’t remember the last time I wanted to know everything about a person, the way I do with him, and it scares the crap out of me.

When we finish our tacos, Caleb helps clear the dishes while I get the ice cream and dish us each a bowl.

“Mint chocolate chip is my favourite. Thought I’d share it with you ladies tonight,” he says as we settle back at the table. I mentally add it to the list of things I now know about him.

His father taught him to skate.

His favourite flavour of ice cream is mint chocolate chip.

He served overseas but doesn’t readily share that with people.

His friends all say he’s a good one.

My list may not be large, but I hope to continue adding to it.

As soon as Charlie finishes her ice cream, I tell her to say her good nights and head upstairs to get ready for bed. She hugs Caleb before slowly making her way upstairs. I take our bowls to the sink, soaking them before looking at Caleb.

“I’ve got to make sure she’s brushed her teeth and changed into her jammies,” I say, and he smiles and nods. Not a big smile, but a soft intimate one that has me wanting to climb right into his lap. I close my eyes and take a breath, shaking that thought from my mind before smiling back at him and going to find Charlie. She’s in her room changing into her pyjamas when I walk in.

“You brush your teeth?” I ask, and she nods. “Let me smell.”

She opens her mouth wide and breathes right in my face, and the smell of mint from her toothpaste fills my nose.

“Good. Now let’s climb into bed and read you a bedtime story.”

“Can Caleb read me a story?” she asks as she rubs her eyes.

“Let me go ask him.”

Walking into the kitchen, I find Caleb unloading my dishwasher. “You don’t have to do that,” I say.

He continues, despite my interruption. “I don’t mind. Charlie in bed?”

“She was actually asking if you’d read her a bedtime story.”

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