Page 50 of Saving You

I take another bite of my sandwich, but she grabs it from my hand, grabs the plate, and moves them in front of her.

“Fine.” I pick up my coffee cup and mumble into it, “He may have watched me use a vibrator in the tub last night.” Embarrassed, I hide behind my cup.

“So let me get this straight. In the last two months, you have spent four days straight with each other, you sent him a voice message of you masturbating, and I’m guessing coming too, moved in with him, and he watched you masturbate in the tub? Am I getting all that?”

I nod. “Well, except last night, he kind of told me what to do.”

She throws her head back and groans. “How are you so lucky? How did you find this alpha man who respects you, but also wants to take care of you and your daughter? Like it doesn’t get much better.”

She’s right; he’s basically perfect. On top of everything Lily’s said, he’s opened up to me too. I know the story he told me this morning was not easy for him to tell me. It means the world to me that he did. That he was vulnerable with me. But I also wonder how long things can really be this perfect. Because I’ve been burned before, and that’s the last thing I ever want to go through again.

“You’re doing it again,” Lily says as she continues to eat her muffin in little bite-sized pieces.

“Doing what?”

“Doing the whole worst-case scenario, what-if thing. Stop. All that’s going to do is keep you from a good thing.”

“I’m attached,” I admit. “He’s opened up to me too. We haven’t even had sex, and I’m attached. Like if we wereto go days without talking or seeing each other, I’d be sad, attached. Like things remind me of him and I smile attached. It has only been a two months, how has it gotten to this point? I don’t trust men. There is a reason I haven’t so much as gone on a date since the separation.” I down the remainder of my coffee. “I’m screwed, and if I’m like this”—I motion my hand over myself—“I know that Charlie’s attached. It will kill me if something happens and she’s caught in the middle.”

Lily gives me a look of sympathy. She leans forward and grabs my hand. “This is all part of life. All are part of being human. You can’t always think worst-case scenario. He’s done nothing but show you he’s a good guy. Keep relying on what he’s showing you. It will all work itself out in the end.”

I nod and grab my sandwich back from her, finishing it before hugging her and returning to work. I spend the day powering through paperwork and thinking about the last thing that Lily said.

It will all work itself out in the end.

When three o’clock hits, I grab my purse and head to Charlie’s school to pick her up, and we head back to Caleb’s house.

I’m in a daze on the way home, surprised to see that Caleb is already home when I pull into the driveway. I open the door, and Charlie goes and finds Finn in the living room while I follow the sound of a drill up the stairs and into the second guest bedroom. Caleb is in there putting together a bed frame. I see he’s already put together a nightstand and dresser.

“Hey,” I say when the drill stops.

He looks over his shoulder and smiles at me. “Hey, how was work?”

“It was good. What are you up to?”

“I told you I would get this room set up for you, so I’m putting together the bed frame. The mattress is being delivered in about an hour. It will be all ready for you shortly.”

I’m speechless. He’s gone through all this trouble to get this set up for me. He’s bought brand new furniture.

I walk up to him, placing my hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t have to do all this, but thank you.”

“Of course, I needed to do this, Bails.” He smiles at me over his shoulder. “Charlie home with you?”

“Yeah, she’s playing downstairs in the living room with Finn before I make her do her homework. I was actually thinking about heading to my place. I have a bunch of perishables that I bought to make dinner this week and wanted to grab them so they don’t go bad.”

Caleb stiffens as he finishes putting the last screw in before standing up.

“Why don’t you give me your house keys and I’ll go pick up anything you need. Just give me a list. I don’t think you should go there by yourself right now. Have you thought about filing a restraining order to prevent him from showing up at the house?”

“The last time I considered one, I was told a judge wouldn’t grant one because I didn’t have any proof he had hit me or Charlie. I’m guessing because of Charlie’s age she can’t be a witness, and I don’t want to subject her to that, so I don’t really have any options right now. I guess I’m just going to have to look for another place to move. I’m going to have to see him eventually, he does have court-mandated visitation with Charlie.”

“You guys can stay here as long as you want or need. I won’t be pushing you guys out. I can understand your point on the restraining order, but for the visitations, I want you to make sure you always have someone else with you. Me, Lily, Liv, and I know that any of the guys would be willing to be there. I don’t want the two of you alone with him.”

I know he has a point, so Ijust nod. “I would appreciate it if you could grab the groceries from my place. I’ll write a list. I guess I should probably let everyone know that dinner on Saturday is cancelled.”

“Why? We can have everyone here. Just let me know what ingredients to grab from your place and I will. We’ve got the space here for everyone, so just tell them there’s a change of venue.”

I can’t wrap my head around how accommodating he’s being about everything. Derek would have never gone for people invading his space the way that Charlie and I have Caleb’s. He wouldn’t just provide an easy solution like having all my friends over for dinner because the original place didn’t work anymore.

---