Page 62 of Saving You

“You can’t tell me what to do,” he spits.

“I can and I will because I protect what’s mine and I will protect those girls until my last dying breath. So, believe me when I say you don’t want to cross me.” Caleb stares him down for another second before coming over and grabbing my hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

I follow him to the truck. He opens the door, helps me up, and buckles my seat belt before quickly rounding the truck and hopping in. The air in the truck is tense despite the Christmas music playing.

When we get back to the house, he helps Charlie out and carries her inside. “Hey, Little Bear, can you head to your room and play for a bit while Mommy and I talk?”

She nods and runs up the stairs.

I make my way into the kitchen, the place furthest from the bottom of the stairs in case she decides to come down while we’re still talking. Caleb follows me, crossing his arms over his chest and planting his feet shoulder-width apart in an intimidating pose. He’s probably used this pose in the military and at work, I realize. I know I’m in for an integration and I guess I deserve it. I hid the texts from him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice isn’t filled with accusation, but more pain. It’s like he’s hurt I didn’t tell him.

“I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t want to see him. I still don’t want to see him and I don’t want Charlie to see him. But he does have court-ordered visitation, and I don’t know how to deal with it or how to do it,” I rush out.

“I can help you, Bailey. You’re not alone anymore. I want to know why you didn’t tell me. Why did you think you couldn’t tell me?”

I look up at the ceiling, holding back my tears. The emotions running through my body are a lot right now. When I look at him, they slowly fall down my cheeks. “Because you’ve already done so much for us. I don’t want to just be a burden on you. You’re always saving me.”

His entire body relaxes, and he steps towards me, framing my face with his hands and wiping way my tears.

“Bailey, you’re not a burden. You and Charlie could never be a burden to me. I like being the one saving you because you’re saving me, too. I’ve never opened up to someone the way I have with you. When you sleep next to me, I don’t have nightmares. You’re saving me just like I’m saving you, and that’s okay. Let me save you. Let me support you.”

My tears fall in earnest, and he pulls me into his arms. With him wrapped around me, I completely relax into him, feeling safer than I ever have. He rubs his hand over my back and places kisses across my temple and the top of my head, soothing me as I cry into him. I’ve felt so lost since losing my parents and ending everything with Derek. While I knew Lily was there for us, I didn’t want to rely on her too heavily. To have him ask to be able to do that for me means everything.

It takes me a few minutes, but I’m eventually able to gather myself and pull out of his embrace. He doesn’t let me get far as his hands come back to my face, brushing the stray tears away.

“Will you let me help you come up with a plan?”

I nod, and he kisses me softly. It’s not sexual; it’s intimate. It’s a kiss shared by partners.

“Okay, why don’t I bring in the tree and we can order dinner? I’ll get the tree set up and we can decorate it tomorrow.”

I smile, and he kisses the tip of my nose before heading out the front door. I make my way upstairs and into Charlie’s room, where she’s happily playing with Barbies and Finn on the floor in the corner. I join her, sitting beside her. She looks at me and then back at her Barbies.

She’s quiet for a minute before she softly asks, “Mommy, are we going back with Daddy?”

“No, Baby Girl, we aren’t. Do you want to?”

She shakes her head but doesn’t look at me. “No, I want Caleb to be my daddy. He doesn’t hurt you like Daddy does. He’s nice, and he plays with me.”

My heart breaks for my little girl. She’s been through more than anyone her age ever should. I pat my lap, and she climbs into it. I wrap my arms around her, holding her close. “I will do everything in my power to keep you safe, Baby Girl. Caleb and I are going to talk about what to do with your daddy. I don’t want you to worry. Just know that Mommy loves you loads.”

I rock back and forth with her in my lap, and she lets me hold her. I absorb every second of this time because I knowin the future, she won’t let me do this anymore.

A creaking noise has me turning my head to see Caleb leaning against the door frame, smiling at us. I smile back. Charlie notices my movement, lifts her head, and climbs off my lap, running towards Caleb. He picks her up and she nuzzles into him and he rocks her.

“You won’t leave, right, Caleb?”

He kisses her forehead. “No, Little Bear, I’m not going anywhere.”

We all stand in Charlie’s room, the silence and heaviness of the moment wrapped around us.

“What do you girls want for dinner?”

“Nuggets,” Charlie says.

“We can do that,” he says, rubbing his hand over her back.

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