Page 68 of Shuttered Hearts

I’ll never forgive myself if I do to Declan what my mother did to my father. Or if I hurt Caleb and Max like she did.

I know I need to talk to my mother. It’s the only way to get closure on that part of my life. I need to know what changed. I need to know why she left. Hopefully, once I have those answers, I’ll be able to let her go and live my life the way I want, with the people I want.

I findAva as soon as I walk into The Diner. I don’t know if she picked it or if Rose sat her there, but she’s in the same booth where Declan and I sit every Thursday. It instantly brings me comfort and puts a smile on my face.

“Hey!” Ava waves when she sees me nearing the booth. “You look lighter today.”

“I feel a little lighter.” I hug her quickly before sliding into the booth across from her. “I didn’t go about it the right way with Declan yesterday, but it was good for me to take the time to think about everything with my mother.”

“He understood. I won’t say he wasn’t disappointed, but he understands complicated relationships with parents.”

“I know he does, but it wasn’t fair to him.”

“You’ll talk about it, and everything will be fine.” Ava waves it off.

“Thank you.” I laugh quietly at her carefree attitude. I don’t know the full story, but I know something happened back in Harborview; so seeing how carefree she is, it’s inspiring.

“Of course.” She smiles and picks up the menu in front of her.

I fiddle with my menu for a moment. “I do have one favor to ask, though.”

Ave glances at me over the top of her menu, catching something on my face before she puts her menu down and gives me her full attention. “Okay?”

“I need to talk to my mother. Sooner rather than later. Can you help me get in contact with her?”

“Sure. Is this a conversation I should be present for?” she asks, a little hesitant herself.

“No. I just … I need to understand her. I need to understand why she left when she did, how she could leave the way she did. I have questions only she can answer.” I shrug. “I don’t know if that makes sense. But it’s not about Max or the custody case.”

“Okay. I’ll contact her lawyer as soon as we’re done here.”

“Thank you.” I relax in my seat, feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I’m proud of myself for finally taking my life into my own hands, but it’s also terrifying to think about finally getting answers to questions I’ve had for so long. There’s no way to know what she’ll say and if her answers will even help me. But no matter what, I’m taking charge of my life and future, and that feels pretty good.

“This was great,”Ava says as she tosses her napkin onto the table. “Can we please make sure we do this regularly when I get back?”

“I would love that,” I tell her, taking the last sip of my coffee before placing the empty mug on the table.

“Probably not every week because that could get expensive. While my family may have money, I don’t like leaning on them. But maybe we could meet every other week? And with Emily!”

“That sounds like a plan.” The smile on my face slips as I see my mother walk in the door.

I knew she had to be staying close with the custody hearing, but I hadn’t realized she would stay in town. This town has no lost love for my mother. The fact she’s showing her face in here takes guts.

“Oh.” I hear Ava say. Looking at her, I realize she’s followed my gaze to my mother. When I don’t say anything or move, Ava speaks again. “I’ve got breakfast this morning. Why don’t you go talk with her now?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to leave if you’re not done.”

She offers me a small smile, “It’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, and we’ll do this again soon so you can get me back next time.”

“Okay.” I stand from my side of the booth and hug her while she’s still sitting. “Thank you.”

I turn to see my mother standing by the door, waiting to be seated, likely being purposefully ignored by the staff.

“Rose,” I call to her behind the counter. “Can we take that booth in the back?” I gesture to my mother.

“Sure, love. Can I bring you anything?” she asks, concern evident on her face.

---