Page 95 of She's a Big Deal

“So you’re insulting me now?”

“It’s an observation, not an insult. You smirk in arrogance when I tell you I begged, but I don’t think you’re in a position to judge. You’re just as extreme, except with you it’s the opposite way. At least, I let myself feel. Going through life on emotionallockdown is just messed up.”

“Alright. Great. Thank you for your fabulous insight. Now if you’re finished with your little speech, and psycho-analyzing me…” Grace waved an irritated hand toward her desk as yet another notification sounded. “I’m busy.”

Olivia did not move or say anything else. She just fixed her with that sad, sad look in her eyes, testing her resolve. “Well?” Grace prompted.

Her lover was too accurate in her observations, and Grace was going to start shaking. Any second now, the tension in her body would become unbearable, and really impossible to hide. She wanted to be alone when this happened.

“I’ll be at the Holiday Inn,” Olivia said. “Until tonight. I’m on the first flight home tomorrow. By the way, it doesn’t go with your outfit.”

“What?”

“The bracelet I gave you.” Olivia gestured. “Doesn’t go. But you’re still wearing it.”

She walked out on that, leaving the door wide open behind her. Grace turned to face the window, the strain in her face now such that it actually hurt. She glanced at the bracelet that she had not taken off since Olivia had given it to her. Well. She stared forward again as her eyes slowly filled.

“Ms. Michaels?” Libby now. “Is there anything you need?”

The contract. No. 5. Paris. Some goddamn space to breathe!Focus, dammit!

“Yes.” Grace did not look at her. She just rested one hand on the glass for balance and swallowed around the tight ball in her throat. “I need you to prepare—” Her voice caught, prompting her to swallow again.

“Ms. Michaels, are you okay?” Libby appeared in her fieldof vision, looking concerned.

“I need you to prepare the draft… contract.” Was her throat swollen? Why was it so damn hard to speak, all of a sudden? If love did this to you, she was better off without it.

“Let me get you some water.”

“I don’t need water.”

“Okay.” Libby hurried to shut the door, then poured her a glass anyway. “Ms. Michaels, I think you should sit down. Your face is as white as a sheet.”

“I need you to prepare the contract for No. 5.” Grace tried again, aware that she sounded like she’d swallowed a mouthful of sand. “We need to add a clause—No, I don’t need this…”

She spilled half the glass her assistant put into her hand before she managed to set it down. Now, the shakes took hold, and her vision turned a little dark at the edges.I love you. I want to be with you.Blood in the snow.

“Ms. Michaels!” Libby gasped when she swayed.

“I’m okay,” Grace grunted.

“Do you need me to call a—”

“No!” she snapped. Reaching the couch, she sat on the edge and dropped her head between her legs. Spoke through gritted teeth as the office started to pitch and roll. “I need a minute.”

Libby said something else to her she did not catch. Hard to hear through the pounding of her heart, the rushing of blood in her ears. She closed her eyes when her vision narrowed a bit more. This would pass, Grace knew. Just like everything else, feelings and emotions.I think you feel the same way… Frightened…With her teeth clenched, she focused on emptying her mind and taking several deep, slow breaths. By the time the trembling stopped, and she looked up again, she was surprised to find that Libby was sitting next to her.

“You’re still here,” she muttered.

“Yes...” Her assistant flashed a cautious smile. “You know, I was tempted to call 911.”

“Oh, God!”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t.”

“Good. Told you there was no need.”

“I trusted you, even though it looked like you might be having a heart attack.”

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