Page 15 of Nanny for the SEAL

If I wanted to deny that it was who I thought it was, this obliterated any chance of that. There is only one person who has ever called me Vivi.

Dammit.

“Are you okay?” Xaden’s question pulls my attention up, and I quickly exit out of the text app and put my phone back in my pocket. “What was that?”

“Oh, nothing. Sorry. It’s just another one of the dumb spam texts that keeps getting through. They almost got me with this ‘virus detected’ message. Assholes.”

With a sympathetic, crooked grin, Xaden nods. “Ugh, I hate that shit. These people really need to find something better to do.”

“Agreed,” I pronounce, and then go about pouring him a glass of apple juice along with one for myself.

He takes it with a laugh and then excuses himself for more work. I just smile as he walks back to his office, tending to my lunch even as the idea of food now turns my stomach.

As the noodles finish, I turn off the stove and stand there in front of the pot for a moment. I need a colander, but that’s not why I can’t move.

He can’t find me here. I have the same NYC number. That’s all. He’s not here. You’re safe.

I continue to press the line with logic, trying to rely on that part of my brain so that I don’t devolve into a state of utter panic.

But my nerves are still fraying at the edges, and I’m still too aware of my pulse in my neck. He can’t find me. Hecan’t.

I’ve actually begun to make a life for myself here, and now I have a child in my care. I won’t let that man harm me here.

Absolutely not.

Yeah, and what are you going to do, Ivy? Little lambs don’t fight wolves.

The familiar threat burns in my mind as the words drilled into me for years haunt me. After a moment, I shake myself out of it.

Daisy will be up soon, and I have work to do. So, I take the pot to the sink and dump the contents down the drain.

I’m not hungry anymore.

FIVE

Xaden

A few days later…

Maeve is smiling at me, laughing about some dumb joke, but silence crawls into the car and weighs down on me.

But her lips are still moving. Why can’t I hear her?

Off to the side, the glare of bright, white lights shoots through the tree line just a few yards from the road. For a second, they cut right into my eyes, and it’s too intense.

The sound of shotguns going off is next. I know it’s coming. It’s hunting season, and I know this is coming.

But it’s not because of that. I knew because…because I’ve been here before.

I’ve already done this.

Panic rings through my mind, making me grip the wheel as my heart rate reaches problematic levels. I can’t stop myself, even though it’s all I want in the world.

It’s like I’m having a heart attack. Some distant part of my mind knows that the shining lights and shots aren’t aimed at me, just some poor, unfortunate deer.

But I’ve been shot at. I’ve been the one doing the shooting, and it’s all too familiar.

My arms jerk as I try to shake the memories from my head. I can’t. They’re stuck deep.

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