Page 43 of Nanny for the SEAL

God, his lips. I want to…

“I think you might also be…” Xaden’s eyes flick downward, and when they reach mine again, I can see a glassy sheen over his cerulean irises, his face a mask of vulnerability. “The perfect person for me, too.”

As much as I might have been expecting something of the sort—if far less…intense—the words hit me like a rubber band snapping my skin.

“Xaden, I?—”

He shakes his head. “No, don’t. Really. I have zero expectations from you, and I know what our situation is.”

I don’t know what I want at that moment. I hear Xaden’s words, and they’re so true. Still, I’m not sure I care what our situation is.

But Jesus, thisisn’tthe time to be thinking about all this. I was just…the bar and coming home, there’s too much muddling the waters for me to say I’m making a sound judgment call.

So, I fall back on one of the skills that I honed the sharpest over the years, and I distance myself.

“Thank you. Umm, I should go inside. I…I need to rest. You’re right.”

He does an excellent job of hiding the slight fall to his expression, keeping nearly every bit of his disappointment to himself.

I just happen to know what to look for, and I recognize the brave face Xaden is putting on.

“Of course. Go on, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Nodding, I reach for the handle of his car and push the door open. My body is tingly and numb except for the center of my chest, which feels like I’ve swallowed a golf ball.

“Good night, Xaden.”

He nods this time. “Good night, Ivy.”

I get out of the car and walk up the steps of my porch without looking back over my shoulder.

It’s not until I’ve unlocked my door and I can hear Xaden’s car turning around in my driveway that I turn back to watch him leave.

Being next door, he just pulls out onto the highway to cross the short distance and then down his driveway to park. He gets out of the car and looks over at me, offering a little wave.

As I mirror the gesture, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I never turned on “do not disturb,” and somehow, I know it isn’t Sam.

When I pull out my cell and take a peek, I hate that I’m right. The unknown number, which is not saved in my phone but recognizable all the same, has texted me again.

I will find you, Vivi. We’re far from done.

A sob tears from my throat, and I stuff my phone back in my pocket to head inside.

It’s a matter of moments before I have everything locked up again, but I can’t bring myself to climb the rickety stairs to my room.

Instead, I slowly walk across the wood floors, newly refinished thanks to a contractor that Xaden knew, and force myself to get on my small couch.

The couch that I still haven’t paid off yet and is billed to me each month on the fifteenth.

He can’t find me. He can’t find Jas.

But what exactly am I supposed to do about it? I have no idea where my father is, and I really don’t think these texts are going to be enough to put him back behind bars.

Tears roll across my nose as I lie on the couch, draping my thin throw blanket over me. I have the morning off tomorrow, and I just hope that I can get some sleep so that I’m not a total wreck.

Still, knowing my luck, I’ll be treated to an evening full of nightmares.

The one man in the entire world I want to trust is right next door, and it’s the one man I can never trust—who’s God knows where—still keeping me from him.

---