Page 122 of Cut Me Down

I turn, and my whole world suddenly comes crashing down…my breath flees from my chest and my heart stops beating…something is wrong…very wrong…she’s grabbing her chest…it’s like she can’t breathe…her eyes are so heavy, and she’s swaying gently…I watch as she closes them and falls off of the counter…my heart sinking with it…I drop the ring and sprint to catch her, but I'm not fast enough…her lifeless body smacks the floor before I can get to her…the sound echoing between my ears…I fall to my knees on the floor beside her. Crawling desperately to her as fast as I can. I stare at her unconscious form....my limbs running cold.

“CARTER!” I scream for him, for anyone… someone help me…I place my shaking hands on her face and try to tilt her head upward…what is on her face? Is that blood? Or vomit?...I can’t tell…I don’t understand…we were happy…the little bit of time I had with her isn't enough…just a god damn taste… “Ashia? Baby, wake up! Stay with me! CARTER!” I hear multiple footsteps running down the stairs and over to us…please don’t be dead…please, God, don’t be dead…She’s motionless. I can’t tell if she’s breathing. “No….no. no. No. Baby, please!”

“What the fuck happened!?” I hear Serena scream as she dives to her knees, sliding over.

“I…I…I don’t…”

“Damien! I need to know what happened!” She starts checking her pulse and places her ear to her chest.

“I don’t know…she was just s-sitting on the counter, and then I looked back…” I can’t calm my hands, and I’m so shaky I can’t fucking speak straight. I just want her to be okay, why isn’t she okay!?

“Was she drinking this?!” Carter asks as he holds her Malibu bottle out to me. I shakily nod and Carter starts looking it over.

“I was…I-I was going to ask her to marry me…” This is not how this was supposed to go. I was supposed to hear her siren’s voice tell me she loves me, and that she’d be my wife. We’re supposed to be upstairs creating our future family or having a hell of a good time practicing. I’d tell her the story of my Nana’s ring, and she’d appreciate the significance of it. Not any of this. Not the love of my life lying half dead in the middle of our home…

“There’s a fucking pin hole in the top of the lid!” Carter yells.

“What?...”A hole? What do you mean a hole?...I can’t manage to say those words out loud. That can only mean one thing…Serena yanks the lid from him and looks at it.

“Damien, get her in the fucking car!” She yells at me and I pick her up as fast as I can…one arm under her legs…the other around her back…but her arms aren’t wrapped around me this time…and my face feels the cold void away for hers…her arms are dangling, swinging back and forth with every sprint step. “Yes this Serena Anderson, nurse ID 5271, I'm bringing in a twenty-six-year-old female suspected of poisoning! Patient is tachycardic, with shallow breath sounds. She’s possibly aspirated vomit and blood.” Carter throws open the garage door to reveal the charger, the bike, and the utility van Carter used to bring Henry’s things from the Basement.

Serena and I load her into the back of the van and lay her flat onto the floor as Carter jumps into the driver’s seat, and immediately backs out. I think I hear Serena talking, but everything sounds muffled behind my heart beating in my ears…I run my hands over her cheeks trying to wake her, but it’s no use…my hands are so shaky, her lifeless lips match my trembling as I run the pads of my fingers over it…

“DAMIEN!?” I look up to meet Serena’s piercing, predatory green eyes. “How long was she showing symptoms!?” She asks sternly and professionally.

“I-I don’t know. She was fine one second…and then she just…she just…” She was more than fine. She was elated. Content. Peaceful…I turn my attention back to her as I feel her move, but she’s not just moving…she’s shaking…her body jolting erratically.

“She’s seizing!” Serena then turns her on her side. “Damien keep your hand under her head!” She moves my hand under her head, and I hear her start to count the last bits of my life away….one…two…three…a tear falls from my face with every digit. She gets to nineteen before she stops shaking…Serena puts her fingers on her neck and gasps. “I lost her pulse!” She rolls her onto her back and tilts her chin up. “Damien every three seconds you’re going to hold her nose and breathe into her mouth!” I nod and put my hands on her face. Serena then begins to pump her chest with one hand on top of the other. Desperately trying to keep any shred of life coursing through her veins.

“Don’t leave me, baby. Stay with me okay?…Ashia, stay with me please…” I breathe into her mouth like she said, and she keeps going. Every three seconds, and if Serena wasn’t counting, I wouldn’t be able to keep track. I keep waiting, my stomach flipping over and over again, for the jump scare moment where she suddenly sucks in a gasping breath. But she doesn’t…

“How far out!?” She yells at Carter.

“Three minutes!”

“Make it one!” We feel the engine rev. She moves her phone to her ear again. “Bring out a stretcher! ETA is two minutes!” In between each breath, I whisper in her ear that it’s going to be okay. That’s she’s going to be fine. That we’ve got her. I don’t want to be a liar. Please don’t make me a liar…

“We’re here!” Carter yells as two doctors open the back doors with a stretcher, and I pick her up and lay her on top to see Serena hop on top of her and keep pumping. Carter and I run behind them as we rush inside, and more doctors run up to us.

“We can take over, Serena.” I hear one of them say as we walk up to the emergency doors inside. She snaps her head at him, and then shakes her head as she keeps pumping. Tears now running down her face. God, please don’t stop… “Serena, you’ve been at this for fifteen minutes, let us take over.” Another nurse runs over and practically tears Serena off of her, hopping on herself. Serena tries to go back to her, but another nurse grabs her arms and holds her still.

“Sir, you need to wait here.” A doctor in a white coat puts his hands on me to push me back and away from her…No, you can’t fucking take her from me…I shove his arms aside and barrel through him.

“You’ve lost your fucking mind! I'm not leaving her!” I go to step again when feel two arms wrap around me from behind. They pull me backward as they push forward, a squeezable oxygen mask now covers her mouth. Did I do it right? Did I help her? Is she going to be okay? When the fuck are we going to know something?!

“D, you have to let them work.” Carter says as he holds my arms behind me, tearing me away from the doors.

“No! I'm not leaving her!” I push back forward, but Carter uses all of his strength to practically throw my body in the opposite direction.

“D! Stop! Let them go.” I watch as they run with her down the hallway behind closed, glass doors… I can’t see her anymore. Everything fucking hurts, every last muscle in my body aches. I need to know how she is…

“What did you do!?” Serena screams and runs up to me as she starts hitting my chest. Her small, balled fists aim with as much force as physically possible for her…but I don’t feel it. All I feel is the cold void that now occupies my chest. “What did you do to her!? Why would you do this!?” She thinks I did this?... She couldn’t possibly… I love her. I’d never hurt her…not intentionally…Carter releases me and pulls her away.

“Stop, Ser. He would never hurt her!” He says as her arms continue to flail, even as he drags her a few feet away.

“She’s my sister! What did you do!? Why couldn’t you have just left her alone!” I don’t even like this woman, but the pain in her face as he drags her away hits me in the gut. She’s right. I did this to her. Her being in that house. She’s susceptible to anyone who wants to harm me. Why her? Why such an innocent, wholehearted woman? Because she’s my world that’s why…just by loving her, I did this to her…

I back into a wall…the room spinning…spiraling…I'm spiraling…none of this feels real…it feels so hazy. My knees feel weak. It’s like I can’t feel her anymore… I see Carter walk up to me and I see his mouth moving, but I don’t hear anything…only my blood rushing over my eardrums…not until I feel his hand shake my shoulders violently…

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