Page 53 of Forecasting the Forward

“No, I liked that part,” I admit quietly, aware that anyone could be listening. “I guess I had you firmly in the golden retriever category, so hearing you speak differently is outside of the character I’ve built you up to be in my mind. Which is dumb, really. You’re a real person, so why do I have a caricature of who I think you are roaming around in my brain? I sometimes feel the need to test-run how conversations might go, from any angle I can think of. And I think I’ve made you out to be —”

“A golden retriever.” Jacob’s dry remark makes me giggle. “I’m sure most men have been called dogs before, but I’ve never been called a specific breed. This is new.”

“It’s a romance book thing,” I blurt out. His gaze meets mine. “A golden retriever book boyfriend is one who has a glass half full mentality. Finds joy in everything, and has friends everywhere. Has a great sense of humor, and people love to be around him. I smile when I’m around you. I’d bet other people think you bring joy to their lives, too.”

He looks down, a subtle smile showing in the corner of his mouth. “I bring joy to your life?”

Now it’s my turn to feel bashful. “You do.”

Jacob turns his head slightly, peeking at me from under his thick lashes. “But you liked the part where I told you all the things I want to learn about you and your body?”

Oh my. Did the temperature just jump fifteen degrees in here? Maybe I need a ride on that Zamboni to cool off.

No, I need to ride Jacob.

Good God. I’m a little too keyed up to deal with this man, and my vagina is about to take over all decisions if I don’t get a handle on things.

“Where’s the bathroom?” I blurt out. Quickly standing, I attempt to scoot past Jacob, and instead, fall into his lap. Onto it. Well, him. All of him. That one quick squeeze I snuck in while he was asleep really didn’t give me an estimate on his full length, and my eyes widen as I realize he’s likely to puncture something if — or when — we have sex. “I need the bathroom. Right now.”

Jacob lets out a rather pained chuckle as he grabs my waist, pushing me to stand, before rising to his feet. “I’ll go with you. I don’t know this level of the arena, and I don’t want us to get separated.”

That makes sense, I guess. I reluctantly trudge out of the box with Jacob in tow, hoping I can settle my whirling mind and raging hormones in the few short minutes I’ll be able to use in a public restroom before Jacob inevitably gets nervous. I assume his golden retriever tendencies could also show up in the form of barging into delicate situations because he needs to check on me. Thunder certainly does that to me fairly often.

“Oh. It looks like the only option here is a unisex bathroom,” Jacob comments as we stop in front of a door with every bathroom picture on it. Crud. Now I don’t even get three minutes to rein in my chaotic thoughts.

“We have one of these in our building,” I explain as nonchalantly as I can, pushing open the door. As I expected, there are four separate stalls with floor-to-ceiling partitions enclosing the space. A shared wall of sinks sits opposite the stalls. A television hangs from the ceiling corner, showcasing the game, with the volume turned low.

As I walk toward a stall, Jacob grabs my hand, yanking me back to him. Two quick steps and my back is against the wall, with Jacob pressed against me as he locks the main door. “You want to tell me what that was back there?”

“What?” I ask, struggling to keep my breathing even. I feel surrounded by him. Every atom of my body buzzing with adrenaline and chemistry, just aching to feel him.

“Why you tried to get away from me as fast as possible,” he murmurs, ducking his head to drag his nose along the length of my neck. I can’t withhold the deep moan that escapes my mouth.

“I feel overwhelmed,” I whisper.

“How?”

“Because it’s been a while for me, and you’re saying all these things that get my motor running. But you’re … you, and I’m struggling to gauge if how much I want you is normal.”

“Fuck,” he whispers against my skin. “Tell me that again.”

“Which part?” I ask with an airy giggle.

“The part where you tell me you want me. It does something to me, hearing you say that. Because darlin’, you have no fucking idea how much I want you,” he rasps, before kissing the spot where my shoulder meets my neck. My knees buckle, but Jacob’s arms clamp around me, holding me upright. “Tell me you want me, Spitfire.”

There are so many things that I want to tell him. I want to whisper all the things I need him to do to me. How I know he’ll own me like no one ever has before, and that I want to memorize every inch of his body. I’d love to tell him that I do want him totake control. To take me to the edge again and again before he finally sends me over. I’d explain how anxious I am about my body. And that I have more confidence because of him, but I still have a ways to go. How he’ll need to tread carefully.

But I can’t say all of that. Instead, I slide my hand up his chest, over his shoulder, and into his thick curly hair. Grabbing a fistful, I pull until his head lifts and our eyes meet. Gorgeous blue eyes are glassy and hooded as Jacob waits for my words. “Tell me, darlin’. Say it. Please.”

“I want you,” I blurt out, and Jacob crashes his lips against mine.

She thinksshe doesn’t give anything away. That she’s got her shutters up tight, letting no one see the real Becca and what she thinks.

But I do. I see so much in her beautiful eyes. The pain. The wariness. The expectations that I’ll let her down, because every man in her life has so far. I’m all too ready to show her how different I am from the assholes she’s dealt with, including her shit-for-brains brother.

When I asked her to tell me she wanted me, I saw it in her eyes. She wanted to tell me all kinds of things. But she doesn’t trust me fully yet. I’m a somewhat patient man. While I’d love to fast forward the process of Becca learning to trust me, I know I just have to bide my time. I know, deep in my soul, that Becca is my end-game. She’s worth the wait.

While I can’t force her to fall in love with me more quickly, I can show her that she’ll love how I fuck. Considering this is the first time Becca has blatantly expressed her attraction to me, I’m not giving up this opportunity.

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