Page 95 of Crash & Burn

But there is a louder voice saying this is everything I have been dreaming of for almost a year. A voice that screams so loud it makes my head spin, that we can’t keep ignoring how good it feels.

Me and her.

The broken parts of us not feeling so broken when we’re together.

“Mia, I’m going to need you to tell meexactlywhat you want because I can’t read you as well as you read me.”

“Eddie,” she says. “I don’t just want a friendship with you. I wantallof you. All the pieces, even the parts you think aren’t enough.” Her words cascade through the air, making it hard for me to breathe but in the best way. I want her to say the words over and over again, I want them branded on my skin like the scar I wear across my face because she is everything I don’t deserve yet everything I need.

“Say it again.”

“Eddie, all those pieces are enough and I want to be the person who shows youthatif you’ll let me.”

“Mia, baby, be careful with what you’re asking for right now because you’re making all my dreams come true and I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it if this is just you messing with me.”

She doesn’t answer me. Instead, she brings her legs in and sits up on her knees. I watch as she climbs over the center console until one of each of her legs is resting outside each of mine, and my hands naturally find the tops of her thighs as she locks her arms around my neck. The leather skirt she’s wearing rides up, mixing all of these feelings of longing for her in more ways than one hard to keep straight. The bare skin under my palms ignites something inside of me, and I don’t think it will ever burn out.

What I do know is I can officially die a happy man now that I know what it feels like to have Mia in my lap.

“No more messing, no more teasing, and no more pretending. I’m in if you’re in, raindrop.”

I bring a hand up to cup her cheek, and I lean my forehead into hers. There is more I want to say, questions that threaten to ruin this moment, but I decide to save them for another day. “I’m in.”

“You sure?” she asks. I know she is thinking the same thing as me. How are we going to make this work? She is Mateo’s little sister. He is my best friend. She is off-limits to everyone, especially me.

Despite it all, she is worth the risk. Let it all crash and burn, as long as she is right there with me. “Sunshine, I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure of anything in my life.”

Chapter 32

Mia

Did I plan on opening this door when Eddie offered to drive me home tonight?No.

Am I sure it was the right time?Also no.

Would I take it back?Absolutely not.

Not in a million years, even though I know the safety I feel in Eddie’s parked truck, just me and him in the middle of the night, won’t last.

I want him. All of him. Not just the friendship.

But right now, being this close to him, feeling his hands on me and his breath on my lips, I know there is no part of me that doesn’t want this.

The questions running in circles in my head threaten to ruin this moment, but I remember what I talked about with Drew, about what my therapist says. I don’t have to think of every possible scenario, leading me to the worst-case. I don’t have to run through every single way something could end in an attempt to prepare myself for when it goes wrong.

For once, I want to act on impulse.

For once, I want to say fuck the consequences.

For once, I want to believe that things will all work out, even against all odds.

“Sunshine, I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure of anything in my life,” Eddie says, and I resist the urge to kiss him with everything I have.

Instead, I slowly move my hands up his neck, feeling the cool, smooth material of his gold chain, knowing he always has it on but not knowing the reason. My hands run up his neck, finding the sides of his face, and I know in my heart that I have never seen a more beautiful man.

A beautiful man who can’t hide all of his scars.

Wearing the one that hurts the most on his face.

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