Page 13 of Gluttony

His voice ragged, his expression tight, he snarled, “Fuck, Val, don’t?—”

“So, even if you weren’t fucking every woman between Wilkes-Barre and Pittsburgh while still claiming to want to be with me, I know that once you actually see me, once this camera is on, once you actually know me, therealme, you’ll ghost me so fast my head will spin, and I’ll be left with a heartful of ‘I knew it’ and ‘you shouldn’t have trusted him.’”

“Fucking hell, would you please, fucking listen to me?—”

“No!” she shouted. “I’ve listened to your bullshit for months, and for the last forty-eight days, I actually believed you when you told me I was special, that you wanted to be with me, so you were willingto wait for me. Now, I get it, you didn’t actually do anythingtechnicallywrong, right? We weren’t official, you never actually claimed me, I never actually accepted the label between us—but I was fucking terrified of exactly this! That you didn’t actually want me at all, that you wanted theideaof a relationship with me. But, when reality settled in, that idea wasn’t as good as you first thought. The fact that couldn’t wait three goddamn days after making that promise before you were back to being a fuck boy, tells me that even if youwereto commit to a relationship with me, it wouldn’t take long before you were fucking someone else.”

His eyes narrowed, sparking dark fire. “You think I can’t be loyal?” His voice was a low growl, intimidating, hard, raising goosebumps along her arms. She shuddered, her nipples tightening to peaks at the sound of it. But it was the words that allowed her to ignore her body’s reaction to him.

“Loyal?” she repeated, loosing an ugly chuckle. “Loyal means remaining strong, standing beside someone or some purpose despite how difficult it gets.” Pounding her fist on her desk, she cried, “Three days—three days, Redtube—after promising to wait for me, you were fucking another woman. No, it wasn’t on camera; you’re really good at keeping all the really dirty bits hidden, but the hair ties gave you away. That tells me your loyalty only lasts until you ‘have needs’, and then it means nothing.”

“Fuck,” he spat, rubbing hard at his face, a scowl making deep grooves beside his eyes, which were deep, dark pools of rage. “There’s been a misunderstanding, Val. If you just let me come to you, we can talk?—”

She snapped, “No more talking. No more chats or texts or calls—this is done.”

An inhuman sound erupted from his chest. “We are not fucking done, Valentina!” he growled. “You and me are going to happen, I don’t give a fuck what you think you know about me.”

She sighed.

“I will wait for you”turned into“I didn’t wait, but I can explain, and you’ll let me because you’re a desperate loser.”

Bullshit—it was all bullshit! Did he really think so little of her?

Why not? You already think so little of yourself.

There was only one way to finish it all, completely, full stop, in such a way that it stayed finished. In a way that she knew would completely end it all, even though it would rip the heart from her chest and the soul from her body. He had to see what she looked like…the bullet he was dodging by letting her end things.

“You can’t just declare us over, Val. You have to give me a chance to show you?—”

Gathering all her nerve—every last drop of it—she clicked the button to turn on her camera.

Red stopped in the middle of his sentence, no doubt alerted by the usually black screen flashing, and then her image appearing.

Now…they were face-to-face.

For the first and last time.

She didn’t speak. She let him look. To finally see her, to see why he would never want her, to see her worn-out tank top, her big tits, fat arms, her messy, dull brown bun, her pale, chubby, makeup-free face, and eyes the color of mud.

His gaze was intense, their dark gunmetal depths skimming her features. From her hair in its customary messy bun, to hercommon brown eyes, to her wide nose, to her wide mouth, to her fat cheeks—then over again, top to bottom.

She knew what he saw; proof that he was right to fuck around, to break his promise. She was ugly, so good thing he didn’t bother putting a lock on his cock, right?

The whole time he looked at her, she fought the urge to squirm, to click the button and turn off the camera, to escape back into the obscurity of the internet. And the whole time, he silently took in her features, his expression giving nothing away.

After long moments of silence, her body aching from holding still, she opened her mouth to say something, anything, but he beat her to it.

“Motherfuck, Valentina…” he rasped, his voice thick. Shaking his head slowly, he pinched his lips together as if forcing back words he really wanted to speak but thought better of.

Words like:

You’re ugly.

It’s a good thing you hide your face.

Wow, you weren’t wrong about looking like a pig.

Good thing I broke my promise, because you are totally not worth the weeks of celibacy.

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