Page 33 of I Wanna Be Your Lager

“You can kiss anyone. You can walk up to a stranger and kiss them, and it can mean nothing.” He diverts his gaze away from me. “Holding hands with someone is more intimate, and it’s not something I do.”

“You can’t walk up to anyone and kiss them. You need to watch for clues. When I kissed you, I didn’t just kiss you. I warmed you up to the idea first and when you didn’t say no, I went for it.”

“You were caressing my thighs. I wasn’t going to say no.” He shrugs.

“Oh my god. That’s why guys are so surface level.” I laugh.

“What do you want? Long nights spent sharing our feelings and brushing each other’s hair?”

I playfully backhand his bicep, and he laughs. “The first part is fine, but you can brush your own hair. Since I know you can’t be serious for five minutes, let’s circle back to the hand holding. Have you never held someone’s hand?”

He’s silent for several long seconds. When I think he’s not going to give me an answer, he responds. “No.”

“Never?”

He shakes his head. “Nope.”

“Pinky holding doesn’t count?”

“Pinkies don’t count.”

Another laugh escapes me. “It’s different, but I respect it. One more question. Why do you consider holding hands more intimate than a kiss?”

He presses his lips together, contemplating his answer. “Because a kiss is just a stepping stone that leads to other things, like sex, which has the purpose of having an orgasm. But when you hold hands with someone, there’s no ulterior motive other than to show your affection toward that person.”

“So a kiss can’t be affectionate?”

“No, it’s just a different kind of affection.”

“That’s pretty deep, Dr. Phil.” I bump Lach with my shoulder. Instead of pulling away, I stay where I am. I’m desperate to touch him, even if it’s only my shoulder.

“But mostly, what if someone recognizes us and tells Jake?”

I glance around the cabin before my eyes fall on Lach. “We’re on an airplane. I highly doubt anyone will recognize us.”

“But they could. And I’m already toeing the line of being the asshole to my best friend.”

I let out a huff. “I get it. I hate keeping this from Jake too. But also, I don’t want to not do this because I really enjoy this.”

His soft blue eyes meet mine. “Me too.”

When he looks at me, I see the pain in his eyes, the yearning to hold me close and kiss me. It makes it hard to be mad at him. “Plus, I don’t want to drop so many truth bombs on Jake. I can only handle so much of his disappointment in me.”

“Hey, Lach. How’s it going?”

Both of us peer up, and a guy with dark hair is staring down at us. His gaze darts from me to Lach. Slowly, I inch away from Lach, straightening my shoulders.

“Hey, Ben. Not too bad. How about yourself?” Lach responds.

“Good. I’m headed to Chicago for work. Seeing you reminds me I need to swing by the bar sometime and say hi to Jake. I heard his sister’s in town, and she has a photography business. The wife keeps hounding me to get family portraits taken.”

Shit. If I don’t say anything now, he’ll find out later. Leaning over Lach, I stretch out my hand. “I’m Eve. The sister. I’m taking a hiatus from the photography business for now.”

His large palm grips mine. “Sorry to hear that, but it’s nice to meet you. I’m Ben. I’ve known your brother for a long time.”

I drop my hand to my lap. “He seems to be a very popular guy in Harbor Highlands.”

“Are you two off to Chicago?” Ben asks.

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