Page 88 of I Wanna Be Your Lager

My lips press into a thin line. “The only stability I had in my life was gone. Ripped away from me. For the longest time, I wasn’t living. Only going through the motions. That’s when I got the gears. They were helping me go through the motions of everyday life. Every turn kept me moving.” My gaze drops to the carpet, and I blow out a deep breath. Fuck. I’ve kept the full story secret, but surprisingly, after telling Eve, I feel a thousand pounds lighter. “Then I met your brother. I was working random odd jobs, and he told me to come work for him. I’d make triple in tips alone than what my current paycheck was providing. Once again, I finally found the family I never had.”

“That’s why it was so hard to tell my brother about us,” she whispers.

I press my lips together and nod. “Yeah. I didn’t want to lose what family I had again.”

She leans into me, resting her head on my shoulder. “Thanks for sharing that with me.”

I release our linked hands and wrap my arms around her. “Thanks for letting me get it out.”

“We have similar pasts. Maybe that’s why we’re drawn together. While I technically had parents, they certainly weren’t winning any parents of the year awards. But I had Jake. He did his best to not only be the big brother but also the parent. After the accident, there were a few years where Jake couldn’t look after me anymore because he needed someone to look after him.”

I nod along as she talks. I’m familiar with Jake’s story. While I was going through my hard time, he helped me by telling me his. Trauma bonding. It helped us to know we weren’t alone.

Eve continues, “But when he acquired the bar, things seemed to have turned around for him. I graduated and was determined to leave Harbor Highlands and make something of my life. It went well for a while. Photography has always been a passion of mine, so I started working with local photographers. Eventually, I met this other girl who also loved photography. We both saved up all our money and started our own business. Right before we were going to open the doors, she cleared out what little we had in our bank account and disappeared. The police did nothing because her name was on the account as well. My only option was a lawyer, but she took all my money. I was stuck cleaning up the mess with zero money to my name.”

“Shit. That’s rough,” I murmur.

She nods. “I worked random jobs like taking Santa and Easter Bunny photos at the mall. Eventually, I started working for Pax as his assistant. The pay was great. My plan was to do that for a while, save as much as possible, and then maybe startmy own business again, but everything blew up in Florida. Met you. Then this,” she rests a hand on her belly, “happened. That brings us to the present.”

“I think we can both admit we’ve gone through hell and back but came out better on the other side.”

Her hazel eyes meet mine. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Same, Sunflower. Same.” We were two broken souls who found each other to become whole.

FORTY-FIVE

BIRTH OR ANAL

Eve

Our conversation left me feeling closer to Lach than ever before. Opening up to me took a lot of courage. It’s hard to be vulnerable, to bare your soul to someone. It’s a raw and unsettling experience to let someone else see our cracks. I’m not here to make them bigger. Instead, I want to heal them. Much like he’s doing with me. Love is deeper than someone’s warm bed, even though a bed with Lach is glorious. It’s deeper than that with him. It makes me appreciate what we have even more. I took Rylee’s advice and talked to Jake about lightening my workload while I’m pregnant and even going part-time to give me more availability for photography. Word has spread quickly between all the women who work at Porter’s and even their friends and friends of friends. I promised them after the baby is born, I’ll get them scheduled.

I’m currently in the stockroom with Rylee, helping her take inventory, which seems easy enough except when people move things and don’t put them back where they belong.

“Do you have plans for a baby shower?” Rylee slides a box of straws across the shelf.

“Um. It’s not something I even thought about with everything going on.” With moving again—thankfully not halfway across the country—Pax showing up, and my preeclampsia diagnosis, a baby shower has been on the bottom of my to-do list.

Rylee turns to face me, leaning a shoulder against the shelf. “If it’s okay, I’d love to throw one for you.”

My heart swells, and tears prick my eyes. I know baby showers are for family and friends to show support and comfort for the mother and baby. With Lach and Jake as my only support system, I often feel alone. But Rylee, who I’ve only known a few months, wants to throw me a baby shower. It’s now nearly impossible to keep the tears from spilling down my cheeks.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry!” Rylee drops her clipboard on the shelf and wraps her arms around my shoulders.

“I just… I don’t… know why… I’m crying.” I choke out between tears.

“Hormones. They’re a real bitch.” Rylee giggles and squeezes me tighter. “What do you say? Can I throw you a baby shower?”

“I don’t even know who would show up.”

“Trust me. There isn’t a shortage of people who would love to support you and Lach.”

“But it’s not even his baby.” Rylee passes me a tissue, and I dry my cheeks.

She rests a hand on mine. It’s comforting. Something a friend would do. “I’ve known Lach for as long as I’ve been working at Porter’s. He’s never been involved with someone like he is with you. He’s not going anywhere. That baby might as well be his. When Trey and I got together, I saw the same thing when he would play with Abby. He adores her and loves her as if he was her biological father. It doesn’t take blood to be a family.”

I nod along. The tears well up again, and I fight to keep them at bay.

---