Page 150 of Pretty Obsessed

River Wade

“You so badly want to do this, want to make him the bad guy? Tell me why. Why do you hate him so much? Why do you want to torture him?”

"You think this is torturing him?" Cas shook his head. "Who do you think made sure he didn’t kill himself night after night? I didn’t drag him out. I went to make sure he survived. I’ve been cleaning up Iris’ messes for years. You don't know what you're fucking talking about."

"There is a fine line between helping and hindering. Think about where you're doing this, Caspian. Anyone could hear this. People could be taking pictures or filming. How is this helping anything?" I wasn't sure how I kept my voice even with the rage overflowing in my chest. Nor how to hold myself back when I wanted to shake him.

"So I should just let him go do this?" Cas' eyes glistened with moisture.

Was he in tears? It added another layer to the story. There was so much more here than I knew. More than Iris probably knew. I didn't understand.

"He's an adult, Caspian." I had to try and reason with him. If I met his anger with anger, it would only push him further away. I could see it in his eyes.

Cas glanced around, stepping closer. "I'm trying to keep all of this together like I've been keeping him together."

"Do you see how you're going about this? You can't prevent him from having a life." I wished he'd listen, but it was written in his eyes, there would be no reasoning with him. "You're going about this the wrong way."

"If you don't like the way I'm handling it, then you fucking babysit him. But you won’t, so when he winds up dead, it's on you." Cas shoved past us, heading back towards the club.

I faced Iris, in an attempt to distract him and cut off the fight. "Come back to the hotel with us tonight. I don't want to give him an excuse to go to Alexander. Not tonight. Please."

I couldn't do this tonight. I couldn't worry about Iris and try and get time with Emory before possibly weeks apart again.

"This is something we are going to have to have out with him. He's just going to keep pushing until he gets me into rehab." Iris shook his head, looking in the direction Cas had gone. "Sure, I'll come back with you."

By the time we got back to the hotel and talked Iris down, we only had a few hours before Emory had to leave for his flight. I didn't want to let him go. I didn't know how to ask for what I needed. It sounded so unreasonable in my head.

You're not my boyfriend but I need you here. I went over it and over it while we touched and kissed, staying in one another's arms until the last minute.

"I'm going to miss you," I said as we stood by the door, a last goodbye, but this one felt different.

A part of us had shifted, and we weren't the same as we'd been before this trip. It wasn't Cas, or the jealousy, or even the time. Something had fundamentally changed, and I didn’t think either of us knew how to handle it.

"I'm going to miss you, too." He clung to me as our lips met.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, hugging him to me. "You're going to be late."

"I know."

We forced ourselves apart. And he was gone. And I was left with a mess.

I looked around the hotel room, an emptiness settling in my chest. I thought I was lonely on the road, but I didn't realize what I was feeling, not until Emory. I stupidly thought my need was for mere touch and intimacy from anyone, but it was never that. It was connection and love I was craving. The intimacy not in touch, but in something real.

Maybe I understood a little better how Iris felt.

I turned to try to find a couple of hours of sleep before we had to be up when a knock stopped me in my tracks. Had Emory forgotten something? He was going to miss his flight.

I pulled open the door to find Cas standing there.

"Where is he?"

"Sleeping probably. It's like five in the morning." I thought about shutting the door in his face, but that would only prolong the issue. Cas had something to say, so he'd say it or make us all miserable.

"He's gone."

"You don't know that." My heart was in my throat. Was he? I'd gone to bed with Emory.

"I do know it." He stepped into the room and closed the door.

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